Joke Thread

OneOinCoyle wrote:A few days before his proctological exam, a one eyed man accidentally swallowed his glass eye.

He was worried for a while, but there were no ill effects, so he forgot about it.

Once he was in the doctor's office, the man followed instructions, undressed, and bent over.

The first thing the proctologist saw when he looked up the man's ass was that eye staring right back at him.

"You know, " said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."

OneOinCoyle wrote:I was standing in a bar in town yesterday and this little Chinese guy comes in, stands next to me and starts drinking a beer.
I said to him, "Do you know any of those martial arts things, like Kung-Fu, Karate or Ju-Jitsu?"

He says "No, why the fluck you ask me dat, is it coz I Chineeese"?

"No", I say, "It's because you're drinking my beer you little prick".

JonnyRandom wrote:*** not a racist joke before you get the wrong idea!! ***

The pope walks into a mosque. Muslims says "why the wrong faith?"

OneOinCoyle wrote:Before me and the misses had sex last night she said "if you turn the light out I'll let you put it up my arse"

With hindsight I should have let the bulb cool down first.