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BEHIND ENEMY LINES - SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY

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1BEHIND ENEMY LINES - SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY Empty BEHIND ENEMY LINES - SHEFFIELD WEDNESDAY on Sun Jan 18 2015, 15:11

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
It's been a while since my last Behind Enemy Lines, but I do enjoy reading the shite written by the deluded Wednesday fans. So here goes.....

Every club has a statto:

Wednesday Warrior wrote:Fact: we are unbeaten this season against any side with a ginger cunt in charge.

HilaryDeviant should join the Betting Shop competition:

HilaryDeviant wrote:Easy 3 points today. After three straight wins without conceding I can’t see Bolton breaching our backline. 4-0 to the owls.

Wednesday don't deserve to reach the play-offs:

GaryWard17 wrote:Heskey and Goodjohnsen upfront for Bolton, average age 78? If we can’t beat this shite we don’t deserve to make the play-offs.

Who knew that Snoop Dogg was a Wednesday fan?

Angry_Lad_23 wrote:Letz dick dees hoes

The one sensible Wednesday fan speaks:

Ged18976 wrote:Neil Lennon has done an outstanding job at Bolton with virtually the same set of players that Dougie Freedman had. They are hard to beat and while they don’t have great pace in attack they will be a handful with Heskey and Gudjohnsen up top. To be honest I’d be happy with a draw to keep our run going. Fully expect Bolton to be pushing us for the play-offs come May.

Stuary Gray should expect a nasty surprise on Monday morning:

ShitOnDaUnited wrote:Bolton are shit, Neil Lennon is a twat, and if we don’t win this one I will personally package up my 2pm dump and send it to Stuart Gray by Recorded Delivery.

Who is Emily Heskey? Emile's slimmer sister?

Rancid1974 wrote:Any team that picks fat Emily Heskey in attack is asking for defeat. Let’s make sure we deliver.

Just what was Lennon doing in Bensons For Beds?

SirTrevorFrancis wrote:I once met Neil Lennon in Bensons For Beds in Glasgow when I was a student a few years back. The cheeky cunt had climbed into one of the beds and pulled the covers over him so you could just see his ginger head. My mate shouted ‘Oi Lennon! Fuck Off!’ and we legged it. As I was running like a big girl I turned round to see Lennon come out of the covers with red cheeks and a big cheesy grin on his face. I never did find out the source of his happiness.

Lennon gets about doesn't he....

Wednesday_Wayne29 wrote:I also met Lennon once. He smacked me in the mouth when I commented on his wife’s fantastic legs. He then picked me up and bought me a pint. Half tosser/half top bloke in my opinion. As a side note I’m pretty sure his wife was into me big time.

Your mate is a fool Gerard.

Gerard The Great wrote:My Leeds supporting mate said Bolton were shit last week, decent at the back but cluless in attack. We should win this at a canter. 2-0 at least.

White84's Sheffield born brother has his say:

Pride_Of_Sheffield wrote:Left mi bitch at home to keeps an eye on mi pet tarantula semedo. Just walkin too the grownd chantin fuck off Bolton and getting sum top laffs from the boyz

It's all Megson's fault:

Megson Hater wrote:I don’t respect Bolton. I hate Bolton. They should have kept Gary Megson. That’s why I hate them.

There's some real anti-ginger feeling in Sheffield:

Ant_n_Flec wrote:Do you have to be ginger to manage Bolton? 4-1 Wednesday.

Think this is boring? Try watching Bolton under Dougie!

DesperateDan1981 wrote:I fancy a stale 0-0 draw. Bolton are boring.

I hope no one fancied a McFlurry after the game.

Elfman wrote:Just put £30 on Wednesday to win 3-0. I’m going to spend the money on a prossy after the match. I’m warning everyone to stay away from that little street down the side of McDonalds after the match, I intend to use it to entertain my chosen lady.

The game kicks off and BigDaveHardy invites the inevitable:

BigDaveHardy wrote:I've a good feeling about this one!

Within seconds Liam Feeney puts Bolton 1-0 up.

FUCK!
Fuck off you twats
Cunts
Double cunts
Fucking typical Wednesday
Oh fuck off Gray you cunt
Resign Gray you fuckwit, same old shite at home
Some dwarf just scored for Bolton
It's my bath night
Are you taking the piss, we gifted that goal to Bolton
My 4-0 prediction now looks silly
Cunting cunts
Fuck this, I'm off to bake a cake
This defence is shit
What the fuck does Gray teach them all week? To be cunts?
I do believe we are losing

GayGav made the wrong decision:

GayGav wrote:I can't believe I gave up an afternoon cottaging for this

LongMemberLarry makes the right decision:

LongMemberLarry wrote:Fuck this, I'm off for a wank

Philpotts gets serious:

Philpotts wrote:We do this all the time, get some fucking good results and then fuck it up against shite at home. We'd better turn this around or I'm going to call Stuart Gray some nasty names

Jimlad1978 clearly didn't pay attention in Biology class:

Jimlad1978 wrote:Feeney is the result of sexual intercourse between Warwick Davis and Garth Crookes

Desperate times, desperate measures.....

Sheffield_Pete wrote:I have just become an internet troll. I sent Stuart Gray some abuse on Twitter with a photo of my arse cheeks

More well timed comments from Wednesday fans:

Early days, the 3 points are still up for graps
We'll still win 3-1
Just a consolation for Bolton
I have runny stools
Bolton don't score many, that's their quota for the rest of January
We're gonna dick these cunts!!

To the despair of the Wednesday fans Darren Pratley puts Bolton 2-0 up:

Just fuck off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fackin ell
Cunts, cunts, cunts and more cunts
I knew I should have gone to Asda
I turned down sex with my randy neighbour for this?
Bolton killing us. Goodbye play-offs.
FUCK YOU GRAY AND YOUR SHIT TACTICS
Gray by name, gray by nature
Bring back David Hirst
Fuck off Lennon you ginger weeble
I iz fookin pissed
This could be embarrassing
This game should be called off, the snow is too heavy
Come on ref, call the game off you cunt

NickyNoo doesn't like Neil Lennon:

NickyNoo wrote:Once again we give it away at home, and what makes things worse is seeing that ginger cunt Lennon lapping it up. What I wouldn't give for 5 minutes alone with that twat

BobbyUrine says the words every Bolton fan dreads:

BobbyUrine wrote:Credit to Bolton, strong and direct and we just can't deal with it. Lennon won't be at Bolton for long.

But Wednesday are given a lifeline when Feeney gives away a penalty:

Clear penalty, Feeney should be red carded
Dirty Bolton bastard
We should get two penalties there, two players fouled
we is gonna win dis now with the boyz doin the biznizz
There are only two outcomes now, Wednesday win or a draw.

The penalty goes in and the Wednesday fans smell blood:

GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL GOAL. Fuck off Bolton
best penalty I've ever seen
I just jizzed my pants
Right back in it now, only one winner from here
Great penalty, amazed Maguire can walk after that foul though
I punched the mother-in-law in the gob when the ref gave that penalty. What a result!
I'm always doing a shit when Wednesday score, I should spend more time on the bog
4-2 Wednesday from here
What do you think of that you Bolton wankers?
Neil Ginger doesn't look quite so happy now. Wipe the smile off his ginger face boys!!
I find that my penis swells to a great size when Wednesday score.
Give Gray a 10 year contract, he is the best manager out there
Fuck you Feeney you little weasel lookalike

Half time comes and the score is 2-1 to Bolton. Stacey cuts to the chase:

Stacey168234 wrote:If we don't win this I will support United from Monday

Lizard Lick Dogging is perhaps stretching the truth:

Lizard Lick Dogging wrote:Bolton were the better team for most of the first half, but we're still in it and if we can win this one I feel we can make the play-offs. Bolton are currently the best team in this league.

Fanny doesn't agree:

Fanny wrote:Bolton are shit and so are we if we don't beat them

The second half kicks off and Bolton take control:

This is shit, get the subs on Gray you colourless wanker
That Heskey is a shithouse
Can't believe we're being controlled by shitty Bolton
Bolton's defence looks solid
Bolton look all over the place at the back
Lennon you cunt!
Suck my under-sized willy Neil Lennon
what a day when we win this one late
I don't think we'll score again if we play until midnight

To further infuriate the Wednesday fans, Hutchinson is sent off by the referee Graham Scott for a foul on Vela:

Never a fucking sending off you blind twat
Fucking dive
referee go fuck yourself
I know where you live Graham Scott
Someone ring FIFA, we've been cheated
Another bent ref taking it up the arse from Neil Lennon
vela you diving twat
the bible never mentioned this
I just gagged on my wife's knob
worst decision ever. worse than hiring gary megson
Stupid players getting sent off again. SORT IT OUT GRAY YOU TWAT!

It's a conspiracy according to LenonTea:

LemonTea33 wrote:It was always going to happen, the ref has been behind Bolton since the kick off. Hutchinson was silly for diving in, but it was a talking to and nothing more. Lennon clearly has the ref in his pocket just like he always did in Scotland

Hirst09 has his own theory:

Hirst09 wrote:I met this ref once in marks and spencer in 2009 wearing a bolton shirt walking hand in hand with fat kevin davies. I should have told someone so perhaps we'd be winning today

Happydayz isn't so happy:

HappyDayz wrote:Big mistake to bring Hutch on, this game needed finesse, not brawn. Lennon will be laughing all the way back to Bolton after this. The shitbag.

Into the last few minutes and Sheffield Wednesday bundle the ball into the net but the linesman rules it offside even though it looked very much onside. The abuse in Sheffield threatens the mechanics of the internet:

CHEATING CUNTING REF
Are you fucking blind you cunt
I'm going to find you, fuck you, and kill you
OMG that was onside it really was OMG
the FA have to look at this ref, how is this legal
C-U-N-T
REF YOU BLIND TWAT
I'm going to find your children and make them wear United shirts to school
Lennon is laughing on the sidelines, he's in on it clearly!
FUCK YOU LENNON YOU SCOTTISH PRICK
As soon as I've finished this game of Hide-n-Seek I'm going down to the police station to report a crime against football
BENT REF. END OF.
is the linno pissed?
they've just said it was 10 yards onside on soccer saturday
Someone get me Neil Lennon's address
You absolute cunt referee and linesman
this could be the end of me with football, game full of cheats
I hope the Bolton bus crashes on the way home. With the ref in it.

After 7 long minutes of injury time the game ends with Bolton victorious. But the Wednesday faithful can't let it lie:

Wednesday_Wrench wrote:We were cheated good and proper. There has to be some sort of investigation into the officials, that simply isn't good enough. We've been beaten by a poor team because they had the officials in their pocket.

Bongo blames a higher power:

Bongo_Bollocks wrote:This is karma for me using next doors cat for shooting practice

Bumder is bitter:

Bumder21 wrote:What a total injustice, Bolton should be ashamed. Fuck Bolton, fuck Lennon, Fuck Peter Kay and fuck Helen Wood. Ok, I hope the last one happens.

A bit of honesty from Glenn:

GlennFitzroy98 wrote:Bolton were the better side. Before we had the goal wrongly disallowed they had several great chances to extend their lead. They are a good team and I wouldn't be surprised if they made it to the play-offs.

The last word goes to 3CardMarcus who is clearly from the White84 school of posting:

3CardMarcus wrote:You bunch of tossers. I look at you and I think money grabbing wankers. No effort, no passion, no blow jobs, no nothing. You cowardly lions, you soft mints, you bouncy castles, you floppy penis's. Someone needs to stand up and be counted. I'll be counting with my nine millimetre as I put you out of your misery. I will be there when you arrive home tonight but where will I be? In the breadbin? In your slutty wife's knickers? In the downstairs loo? In your tv remote? Ha ha you will never know because I am the master of trickery and I never fail. I could just as easily make you a ham sandwich as gut you like a French horn. I am everywhere, don't underestimate me, you should be on your guard. The performance today made me angry. So angry I couldn't watch Home & Away which I'd sky plused all week. Which one of you shall I hunt first? Too many too choose from. But I will get to you all in time. When you least expect it. You could be watching Ben & Holly's Little Kingdom and I jump out from under your dog and gut you. You have been warned. I am everywhere. The master of trickery and gutting. You have failed me. Eat your doom.



Last edited by Natasha Whittam on Tue Jan 27 2015, 18:36; edited 1 time in total

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
"I'm going to find you, fuck you and kill you" hahahaha

scottjames30

scottjames30
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Suck my under-sized willy Neil Lennon Very Happy

rogercpc


Nicky Hunt
Nicky Hunt
brilliant, much appreciated!

BoltonTillIDie

BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Awesome

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
quality as ever  Very Happy

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
Great read, Nat. :like:

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

rammywhite

rammywhite
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
All is forgiven,Nat

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Some cracking user names on there.
Bongo_Bollocks
LemonTea33
Strange lot across the Pennines.

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
About time we had a "behind enemy lines"! 

Fantastic! Very Happy

bryan458

bryan458
Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
a Lot of work must go into that!!!!

Respect!!!!!!

And it's fucking entertaining

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:a Lot of work must go into that!!!!

Respect!!!!!!

And it's fucking entertaining

sHE makes it up

Guest


Guest
@Boggersbelief wrote:
@bryan458 wrote:a Lot of work must go into that!!!!

Respect!!!!!!

And it's fucking entertaining

sHE makes it up
Even if it was made up still a lot of effort and still entertaining

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:a Lot of work must go into that!!!!

Respect!!!!!!

And it's fucking entertaining

sHE makes it up
Even if it was made up still a lot of effort and still entertaining

Not that entertaining when it's made up.. Lot of effort though.

Guest


Guest
90% of stuff posted on here is probably made up (like your transfer rumours) but its still entertaining.

Anyway, find us out some more rumours please boggers.  Newsnow hasnt linked us with anyone for a bit

Guest


Guest
@Boggersbelief wrote:
@y2johnny wrote:
@Boggersbelief wrote:
@bryan458 wrote:a Lot of work must go into that!!!!

Respect!!!!!!

And it's fucking entertaining

sHE makes it up
Even if it was made up still a lot of effort and still entertaining

Not that entertaining when it's made up.. Lot of effort though.

Looking forward to you posting a more entertaining version.

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
bwfc1874 wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:a Lot of work must go into that!!!!

Respect!!!!!!

And it's fucking entertaining

sHE makes it up
Even if it was made up still a lot of effort and still entertaining

Not that entertaining when it's made up.. Lot of effort though.

Looking forward to you posting a more entertaining version.

Thought you were "taking a break" from this forum?

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:90% of stuff posted on here is probably made up (like your transfer rumours) but its still entertaining.

Anyway, find us out some more rumours please boggers.  Newsnow hasnt linked us with anyone for a bit

Every name I mention on the transfer rumours thread has been linked with us you sarcastic prick. What did you have for dinner?

Guest


Guest
Ye took a couple of days off last week. That okay with you?

Guest


Guest
@Boggersbelief wrote:
@y2johnny wrote:90% of stuff posted on here is probably made up (like your transfer rumours) but its still entertaining.

Anyway, find us out some more rumours please boggers.  Newsnow hasnt linked us with anyone for a bit

Every name I mention on the transfer rumours thread has been linked with us you sarcastic prick. What did you have for dinner?
Roast chicken. Its on the dinner thread already Smile

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
bwfc1874 wrote:Ye took a couple of days off last week. That okay with you?

And now you're back. Have you run out of weed?

Guest


Guest
No going pretty strong thanks.. Was that meant to insult me?

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin
Chill folks please.

Thanks Boogers for your 'gossip' up dates.

Thanks 74 for deciding to only have a few days off from us.

Thanks Johnny for the Hula hoops (they taste disgusting btw)

Thanks Nat for the BEL - an amazing amount of work as gone in and most people enjoy them (you can't please everyone).

Anybody else I need to keep happy?

Just say if there is!

Guest


Guest
@Sluffy wrote:Chill folks please.

Thanks Boogers for your 'gossip' up dates.

Thanks 74 for deciding to only have a few days off from us.

Thanks Johnny for the Hula hoops (they taste disgusting btw)

Thanks Nat for the BEL - an amazing amount of work as gone in and most people enjoy them (you can't please everyone).

Anybody else I need to keep happy?

Just say if there is!
Have you ever thought of a career in child care. Wink

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
bwfc1874 wrote:No going pretty strong thanks.. Was that meant to insult me?

Just an innocent question..

Guest


Guest
Cheers Sluffy, but I was already happy, Boggers just seems out to pick a fight over the last few days. Something wrong Boggers??

Guest


Guest
@Sluffy wrote:

Thanks Johnny for the Hula hoops (they taste disgusting btw)

Cheeky - took me ages to get them off for you

Boggersbelief

Boggersbelief
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
bwfc1874 wrote:Cheers Sluffy, but I was already happy, Boggers just seems out to pick a fight over the last few days. Something wrong Boggers??

Give me one example

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
:suicide:

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin
[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] wrote:
bwfc1874 wrote:Cheers Sluffy, but I was already happy, Boggers just seems out to pick a fight over the last few days. Something wrong Boggers??

Give me one example

Oh leave it mate please.

It's not been the best of times recently and I wouldn't like you and 74 getting upset with each other over nothing.

White84 has been asked numerous times to leave his thoughts about Muslims off here - but he can't seem to do that - and that's another reason why I believe he's been doing it deliberately to 'troll' the site.

If he can keep his thoughts to himself on this subject when posting on here then we would happily have him back.

Nat's BEL isn't for everyone I agree but it is done to make most of us laugh, takes an enormous amount of time and effort, done for free and is a big favourite of many.  So please be a little bit gracious about it even if it is not your sort of thing.

Come on folks we won, the teams playing well and things are on the up, so please lets stop beating everybody else up on here.

Come on everybody - smile - group hug!

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