It's Over.....Goodbye Cecil

I know people saw us as the next Harry & Meghan but I'm sad to announce that Cecil and I have split up.

Cecil has been nagging me to have his child, but I'm not convinced this body was designed to carry a baby. I don't have the hips for it. Plus, it all looks a bit bloody painful.

Anyway, the final straw came when he got into bed last night with a ribbon tied round his todger, and begged me to let him impregnate me. A romantic gesture, but ultimately there is no future.

He left this morning with his toothbrush, his dildo collection, and six tins of spam.

I expect you bunch of gobshites to show some respect, Cecil was a decent man, I just couldn't give him what he wanted.

I'll miss you Cecil. Your gentle ways, your kindness, and your 10 inch knob.

That's not a knob. It's a Gurnard.

With Cecil out of the picture,I'm assuming you have an opening?

boltonbonce wrote:With Cecil out of the picture,I'm assuming you have an opening?

I said show some respect you fecking perve.

Oh was he called Cecil? All this time I've been calling him Cedric!

Speaking of Cedric,does he still have a chance,or is that a non starter?

Your best bet is to go for an elderly widower. Kids have flown the nest,nice pension,spends all day playing golf,and most evenings trying to remember where he lives.

They're out there.

Sorry to hear you and Ces have broken up but I always thought you were better matched to third rate footballers such as Nuggy and Mark Davies.

I think though that you're probably only ever to be happy until you capture this mans heart!

boltonbonce wrote:With Cecil out of the picture,I'm assuming you have an opening?

 Yes the Romanian Doctors did the best they could for the pittance she paid, but it's an opening of sorts

So Darren Pratley is released and it's now over between you and Cecil. Coincidence?

Sluffy wrote:Sorry to hear you and Ces have broken up but I always thought you were better matched to third rate footballers such as Nuggy and Mark Davies.

I think though that you're probably only ever to be happy until you capture this mans heart!

Pirahna Man.

Just wondered how Cecil is these days. Must have left some mental scars.
Hope the poor chap is ok.

Natasha Whittam wrote:Cecil has been nagging me to have his child, but I'm not convinced this body was designed to carry a baby. I don't have the hips for it. Plus, it all looks a bit bloody painful.

You could have had a 'C' section you selfish bitch.

Anyway, the final straw came when he got into bed last night with a ribbon tied round his todger, and begged me to let him impregnate me.

Don't worry, I'm back on the dating websites. The future Mr Whittam is but a dick pic away.

Seems Cecil was the one who broke up with Nat!  Apparently she was  too feminine!  Anyway Cecil has now tied the knot with a guy called Peter.  Nat was seething when she found out as you can see from the video here

Heartless wanker.