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Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County

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essex red
sbredfan
Sluffy
Reebok_Rebel
WanderingTree
mikenffc
bwfc71
xmiles
Keegan
WhiteBic
BoltonTillIDie
largehat
Numpty 28723
aaron_bwfc
Natasha Whittam
19 posters

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1Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 12:22

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

As usual I've had a quick peek at what the Derby fans thought of last nights game....here are a few quotes from various Derby forums.

Predictions for the game first of all. Not sure if LittleLexy is a Bolton or Derby fan:

Bolton are shit, Owen Coyle has a face you would never tire of jumping on, Kevin Davies is a stump and I had sex last night. So I’m going for 2-1 County.

County_Consumables will be helping me win the Betting Shop from now on:

Can only see a Bolton victory, probably 2-0 with Kevin Davies scoring at least one of them.

This is a good idea by cloughscough:

1-0 Bolton. Clough out, board out, tits out.

The game kicks off and Derby have a bit of pressure. Cooky is happy with their new signing:

Were fuking all over the northern wankers. Salmon looks a steel and can see him bagging a hat-trick. Cloughie pulls another from the bag.

Kenny-Logan thinks Kevin Davies is fit:

Fuck off Davies you prettyboy wanker, elbowing Tyson in the face and looking like butter wouldn’t melt. I hate that fat twat.

DerbyDoris thinks we are a big team:

Why the fuck was Keogh's strike ruled out? Cheating big team favouring arsehole!

The Derby fans aren't happy with the disallowed goal:

Ref you cheating twat!
CUNT CUNT CUNT!
i no wear u live ref
have bolton paid the ref
show some fuckin emotion clough you plantpot
i'm going to kill someone tonight coz of that, probably my fat mother-in-law

The_Ram_King is bigger than FIFA:

That was a goal as far as I am concerned. I don’t care what the ref or FA say, I am counting it. I will put together the REAL league table after the game. Derby 1-0 up.

Glad Horrid_Harvy isn't in the betting shop competition:

Just watch Bolton score now we’ve had one disallowed.

Bolton do score and the County fans are pissed off. I don't know what sperm sucking is but RammyMan is clearly not a fan:

Fuck fuck fuck, I don’t fucking beleeve it fuck off Bolton you backward dickheads. I cant beleeve we let that fat bastard davies score he must be 58 at least fuck off clough you sperm sucker.

More abuse for Nigel Clough. I've written some of it down to hurl at Coyle on Friday:

Shit, fuck off Clough
Cunts, every single one of them. Cunts.
Clough you fucking moron, fuck off back to Nottingham and leave this once great club alone. I hate you, I fucking hate you.
i'm gonna rip your tits off clough
this is all your fault clough you spineless twat, bolton are shit but they make us look like fucking women

Nigels_Last_Wispa is definitely a visionary:

I’m e-mailing the club as we speak……Dear Derby Country FC, please find enclosed a bottle of my spunk taken from various one-to-one sessions with my knob over the last week or so. Please use it to create various children in my image. In about 18 years you will see the fruits of my labour when you have a team of committed Derby Country players rather than the overpaid and never-performing wankers you currently employ. No need to thank me, a statue will suffice.

Is losing to Bolton the worst thing in football? Danny2390 thinks so:

How are we losing to Bolton, they are shit. Does it get any worse than this?

Derby hit the post and Dennier isn't happy:

We just hit the post, scabby Bolton bastards.

It's personal between Micah_Rishton and the post:

Fuck off post, I fucking hate your guts. You’ve had it in for me for years.

This was written by Owen_County_Council, but is it Owen Coyle in disguise as he must shout this a lot:

learn to shoot between the posts you cunts!

Horrid_Harvey is at it again:

Just watch Bolton score now we’ve hit the post.

Bolton do get a second goal and it's game over. BigBalls could be the next Poet Laureate:

Twat, fuck, shit, cunt, bastard, wanker, arsehole, dipshit

Football is a cruel game, sometimes there's only one way to end the misery and Nige9811 takes it:

Why do we always do this? Why why why? I’m off to hang myself. Twice.

HugeDeek gets it wrong:

Fuck off Davies you fat cunt, you are a shitty Bolton bastard who embarassed himself playing for England and ate all the pies in Lancashire. I want to meet you in a dark alley and do vicious things to you, I want to eat your heart and cook your eyes for dinner. I want to break into your home and do a shit on your carpet, then roll about in it so you are forever reminded of me. Then I’ll do an even bigger dump in your toilet and block the whole of your street. Think of me when you’re swimming in our own shit. I hate you Davies you cunt. Oh, it wasn’t davies who scored. Fuck off Eagles you fat cunt....

The last minute goal has not gone down well in Derby:

Clough out!
Fuck off Clough
Die clough
Suck my flaccid cock clough
I just did a dump in my boxers
Wot a nob

But JW_DCFC has the answer:

last minute goal again, fed up, im chopping my nob off and gonna post it through Cloughs letter box. Yanks out!

The game is over and KellysHippo has had time to reflect and does something that rarely happens, mentions "massive" and "bolton" in the same sentence.

Why are we blaming a manager who has no money to spend and is forced to sell his best players? We matched Bolton tonight and they had an Arsenal striker on the bench, a £4m striker not even in the squad, a player who played in Euro 2012 in midfield and the riches being in the Prem for years brings. Bolton are massive, we are tiny. Accept it.

Bolton fans know what DerbyDerek is going through:

I have put my season ticket through the shredder. The shredder broke. My season ticket is still intact. I am doomed to follow the rams forever. You can’t walk away alive.

Jordy45 has a foot fetish:

does anyone no were clough lives I want to go round and piss on his feet

Malcolm98High wants to sign Owen Coyle:

Oh for a manager like Owen Coyle who looks like he gives a toss. The guy never stopped moving for 90 minutes, I’ll bet he covered more ground on the bench than our entire midfield in 90 minutes.

Has JennyHarold8 been spying on me as I said this many times last season:

Just got back from shitty Bolton. Shit game, shit ground, shit team, shit result. We are going down this season.

The final word goes to Derby_Dick_Tation who has a way with words:

Fuck off Clough. You have destroyed my life. You have taken my club, my wife, my children, my dog and even my six year old Fiat Punto. What is there left to take? My sanity? No, that went a long time ago, around the time you became manager. Your father was a hero, you are a cunt. Your father was the best manager in the country, you are a cunt. Your father had passion and kicked backsides when they needed kicking, you are a cunt. Your father produced winning teams, you are a cunt. Your father produced you, what a cunt!!!!

2Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 12:34

aaron_bwfc

aaron_bwfc
Moderator
Moderator

Haha oh that was a good read cheers Nat, Derby_Dick_Tation gets my vote for post of the week. lol!

3Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 12:38

Numpty 28723

Numpty 28723
Andy Walker
Andy Walker

Some brilliant stuff there - I like the fact that they think living in Derby makes them southerners.

Were fuking all over the northern wankers. Salmon looks a steel and can see him bagging a hat-trick. Cloughie pulls another from the bag.

4Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 12:48

largehat

largehat
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington

This was my fave. Beautiful in its simplicity.

i no wear u live ref

5Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 12:58

BoltonTillIDie

BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Great stuff Nat!! Very Happy

My Fave:

But JW_DCFC has the answer:

last minute goal again, fed up, im chopping my nob off and gonna post it through Cloughs letter box. Yanks out!

lol!

6Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 13:08

Numpty 28723

Numpty 28723
Andy Walker
Andy Walker

Fair play to their fans though - that little band of scrotes who stood waying their shirts in the air for the whole game were probably the most entertaining part of the evening.

7Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 13:54

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

"legendary BWFC forum tranny Natasha Whittam"

Largehat, you bellend. I'm having my Adam's Apple removed on Friday, I'm going to keep it and shove it up your arse.

8Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 13:57

largehat

largehat
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington

"Legendary BWFC forum tranny" is the closest you'll ever get to an actual compliment from me. You should be happy.

9Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 14:00

largehat

largehat
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington

Anyway I am promoting your work, so piss off. It is getting viewed about 5 times a minute at the moment. I accept your thanks.

10Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 14:07

BoltonTillIDie

BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

A few positive comments on Twitter too - Should do more of this Nat! Fans love it Very Happy

11Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 14:08

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

BoltonTillIDie wrote:A few positive comments on Twitter too - Should do more of this Nat! Fans love it Very Happy

I do it when we win, so it's not a regular thing.

12Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 14:10

BoltonTillIDie

BoltonTillIDie
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Hopefully it will be a lot more regular this season

13Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 14:32

WhiteBic

WhiteBic
Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly

Nigels_Last_Wispa is definitely a visionary:


I’m e-mailing the club as we speak……Dear Derby Country FC, please find enclosed a bottle of my spunk taken from various one-to-one sessions with my knob over the last week or so. Please use it to create various children in my image. In about 18 years you will see the fruits of my labour when you have a team of committed Derby Country players rather than the overpaid and never-performing wankers you currently employ. No need to thank me, a statue will suffice.

O dear god I can't read anymore after reading this

14Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 15:52

Keegan

Keegan
Admin

I had to read the entire thing in installments but this bit in particular cracked me up.

Natasha Whittam wrote:It's personal between Micah_Rishton and the post:

Fuck off post, I fucking hate your guts. You’ve had it in for me for years.

Really funny stuff! Laughing

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

15Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 16:35

aaron_bwfc

aaron_bwfc
Moderator
Moderator

[quote="Natasha Whittam"]HugeDeek gets it wrong:

Fuck off Davies you fat cunt, you are a shitty Bolton bastard who embarassed himself playing for England and ate all the pies in Lancashire. I want to meet you in a dark alley and do vicious things to you, I want to eat your heart and cook your eyes for dinner. I want to break into your home and do a shit on your carpet, then roll about in it so you are forever reminded of me. Then I’ll do an even bigger dump in your toilet and block the whole of your street. Think of me when you’re swimming in our own shit. I hate you Davies you cunt. Oh, it wasn’t davies who scored. Fuck off Eagles you fat cunt....


That last part of this made me lol!

16Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 18:10

Keegan

Keegan
Admin

I had to restrain myself from laughing out loud - being at work, and all. I did laugh quite a bit, though. Funny stuff.

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

17Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 19:28

xmiles

xmiles
Jay Jay Okocha
Jay Jay Okocha

Thanks Nat.

Very funny, but are all the posters on this site 10 years old?

18Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 19:33

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

xmiles wrote:Thanks Nat.

Very funny, but are all the posters on this site 10 years old?

No idea, but it was made up from 5 or 6 different sites - let's be honest, if someone did a Bolton Behind Enemy Lines would it sound any different?

19Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 19:36

xmiles

xmiles
Jay Jay Okocha
Jay Jay Okocha

Natasha Whittam wrote:
xmiles wrote:Thanks Nat.

Very funny, but are all the posters on this site 10 years old?

No idea, but it was made up from 5 or 6 different sites - let's be honest, if someone did a Bolton Behind Enemy Lines would it sound any different?

Er.. probably not. Smile

20Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Empty Re: Behind Enemy Lines - Derby County Wed Aug 22 2012, 19:46

bwfc71

bwfc71
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo

What were the name of all these sites you visited, so I can have a much more laugh at their expense?

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