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Bolton Nuts » BWFC » Bolton Wanderers Banter » Choking On My Halftime Sausage

Choking On My Halftime Sausage

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Norpig
Sluffy
Natasha Whittam
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1Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:14

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

No, not the title of KP's new autobiography, but reference to a hypothetical situation anyone could find themselves in.

Before every home match I drop in to my local butcher and buy a bag of cooked chipolata sausages for halftime. They are the business. They are often the highlight of matchday.

Anyway, just recently there seems to have been a lot of matches paused for a "medical emergency" in the crowd. This appears to be a modern phenomenon because I don't remember it ever happening pre-Covid. But does anyone suffering one of these emergencies really want the game stopped and everyone looking at them at a time of great vulnerability?

What happens if one day I end up choking on my halftime sausage? Is the referee going to stop the game so the players, managers and 12,000 fans can all gawp at me as I struggle to remove the sausage from my throat? No bloody thank you. Keep the game going, turn around and forget that I'm gagging on a chipolata and watch the fooking game. Hopefully there will be a good samaritan or two who can give me the heimlich, but the rest of you can keep your beaks out.

How do you feel about this? Would you expect the game to be paused in your moment of need, or would you rather no one noticed your predicament?



Last edited by Natasha Whittam on Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:33; edited 1 time in total

2Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:19

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

I think, although I might well be wrong, that the games are stopped to allow the medical helicopter to land on the pitch?

As for your halftime sausage, if in any doubt, spit and don't swallow.

3Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:23

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

You won't choke on a chipolata, you've had much bigger  Very Happy

4Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:24

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Are we talking wurst case scenario?

5Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:25

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Norpig wrote:You won't choke on a chipolata, you've had much bigger  Very Happy
Natasha could swallow a whole banana without choking. Very Happy

6Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:26

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

karlypants wrote:
Natasha could swallow a whole banana without choking. Very Happy
Sideways.

7Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:27

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I've heard from sources she has no gag reflex at all  Shocked

8Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:29

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

boltonbonce wrote:Are we talking wurst case scenario?

Very Happy

9Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:32

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Sluffy wrote:

Very Happy
Even I feel ashamed. Surprised

10Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 16:32

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

:trust:

Another serious thread ruined.

Don't ask for my help next time you're gagging on a sausage.

11Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 17:02

Cajunboy

Cajunboy
El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf

Natasha Whittam wrote:No, not the title of KP's new autobiography, but reference to a hypothetical situation anyone could find themselves in.

Before every home match I drop in to my local butcher and buy a bag of cooked chipolata sausages for halftime. They are the business. They are often the highlight of matchday.

Anyway, just recently there seems to have been a lot of matches paused for a "medical emergency" in the crowd. This appears to be a modern phenomenon because I don't remember it ever happening pre-Covid. But does anyone suffering one of these emergencies really want the game stopped and everyone looking at them at a time of great vulnerability?

What happens if one day I end up choking on my halftime sausage? Is the referee going to stop the game so the players, managers and 12,000 fans can all gawp at me as I struggle to remove the sausage from my throat? No bloody thank you. Keep the game going, turn around and forget that I'm gagging on a chipolata and watch the fooking game. Hopefully there will be a good samaritan or two who can give me the heimlich, but the rest of you can keep your beaks out.

How do you feel about this? Would you expect the game to be paused in your moment of need, or would you rather no one noticed your predicament?
Despite your predilection for high heels, I've always assumed you are a responsible citizen.

Surely on match day you can wait for your suasages until you get back to your penthouse.


Think of the fans around you!  They don't want to be upset by seeing some old dear being stretchered out of the stadium.

12Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 18:35

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Cajunboy wrote:Despite your predilection for high heels, I've always assumed you are a responsible citizen.

Surely on match day you can wait for your suasages until you get back to your penthouse.


Think of the fans around you!  They don't want to be upset by seeing some old dear being stretchered out of the stadium.

Old dear? You bitch. I'm only 32.

And as for sausages, I've had a halftime sausage at every home game since 2006, it's become a ritual.

13Choking On My Halftime Sausage Empty Re: Choking On My Halftime Sausage Tue Dec 07 2021, 19:02

Biggie

Biggie
Admin

Well I think they should play on in general. The only thing that might bug people is if they can't see the game because of the commotion in front of them.

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