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Bolton Nuts » BWFC » Wandering Minds » I'm in love with a Prostitute

I'm in love with a Prostitute

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391I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Mon Apr 30, 2012 9:20 pm

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
@Hipster_Nebula wrote:That doesn't look like a Ford Focus either silent

@Quent wrote:
@Mr Magoo wrote:Quent take a picture of her in your car boot.

Managed to ditch the Focus and rob some old bag's car from a Comet car park.

Do try and keep up.

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

392I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Mon Apr 30, 2012 9:58 pm

Hipster_Nebula

Hipster_Nebula
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Keegan wrote:
@Hipster_Nebula wrote:That doesn't look like a Ford Focus either silent

@Quent wrote:
@Mr Magoo wrote:Quent take a picture of her in your car boot.

Managed to ditch the Focus and rob some old bag's car from a Comet car park.

Do try and keep up.

Oh sorry, like i say i've been skimming it. Embarassed

393I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Mon Apr 30, 2012 10:16 pm

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Iv'e just got in and the photo has gone!

394I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Mon Apr 30, 2012 11:06 pm

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
Damn you, Percy! Taking the photo won't get Marie back!

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

395I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 1:08 am

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff

396I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 11:57 am

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
I wonder if they have caught up with him, he could be tied up as we speak, being tortured.
Very Happy

397I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 11:58 am

Quent

Quent
Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka
A rough night. Have you ever tried getting to sleep while a hooker screams obscenities at you through a wardrobe door? I don't advise it. Back on the move in a few minutes, heading for Dover to start our new life in gay Paris.

398I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 1:25 pm

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Bloody hell! You clearly plan ahead if you had the forethought to take Marie's passport with you. Watch out for the snail scoffers at passport control, they are notorious for not allowing undesirables into France. You might be better sedating Marie first and blag your way through by saying she is narcoleptic.

399I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 1:42 pm

aaron_bwfc

aaron_bwfc
Moderator
Moderator
Christ you should send this story to the makers of american dad/family guy, Stan can play you and roger can be the hooker.

p.s good luck in paris old bean, I would love to hear your answer when they ask ''reason for visiting paris?'' Very Happy

400I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 1:45 pm

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
Did you leave the kid with the pimp.

401I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 4:02 pm

Quent

Quent
Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka
French wankers! No problems at Dover, you can't take drugs across the water but the British have no problem with hookers in the boot. Unfortunately when we hit Calais Marie started screaming again and some French ponce insisted I open the boot.

The stench was unimaginable. A mixture of piss, shit and Chicken McNuggets. I still love her though. Anyway, I explained to Mr French Ponce why Marie was in the boot and that Percy the Pimp was after me. He said he understood but couldn't allow me into France.

So here we are again, sat in McDonalds car park in Dover. Where do I go from here? Will Marie still love me when this is all over? Will Percy kill me? Will Homebase ever take the ironing-board back?

402I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 5:07 pm

wanderlust

wanderlust
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
The path of true love is seldom easy, but stick at it - you'll find a way.

403I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 5:24 pm

largehat

largehat
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
Quent, might I suggest your logical destination be Gretna?

404I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 6:51 pm

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
@Quent wrote:French wankers! No problems at Dover, you can't take drugs across the water but the British have no problem with hookers in the boot. Unfortunately when we hit Calais Marie started screaming again and some French ponce insisted I open the boot.

The stench was unimaginable. A mixture of piss, shit and Chicken McNuggets. I still love her though. Anyway, I explained to Mr French Ponce why Marie was in the boot and that Percy the Pimp was after me. He said he understood but couldn't allow me into France.

So here we are again, sat in McDonalds car park in Dover. Where do I go from here? Will Marie still love me when this is all over? Will Percy kill me? Will Homebase ever take the ironing-board back?



Are you having a Mcfluri.

405I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Tue May 01, 2012 7:40 pm

Lyric Todkill

Lyric Todkill
Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@Quent wrote:French wankers! No problems at Dover, you can't take drugs across the water but the British have no problem with hookers in the boot. Unfortunately when we hit Calais Marie started screaming again and some French ponce insisted I open the boot.

The stench was unimaginable. A mixture of piss, shit and Chicken McNuggets. I still love her though. Anyway, I explained to Mr French Ponce why Marie was in the boot and that Percy the Pimp was after me. He said he understood but couldn't allow me into France.

So here we are again, sat in McDonalds car park in Dover. Where do I go from here?

Come back up north

Will Marie still love me when this is all over?

No

Will Percy kill me?

I hope so

Will Homebase ever take the ironing-board back?


Depends if it is bloodied and if you have the receipt


406I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Wed May 02, 2012 10:40 am

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
I wonder if he is still alive,

407I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Wed May 02, 2012 12:51 pm

Hipster_Nebula

Hipster_Nebula
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Mr Magoo wrote:I wonder if he is still alive,

I can't imagine he'll evade the police for much longer and will definitely be due a stint in jail for kidnapping.

shame because he was an excellent poster.

408I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Wed May 02, 2012 2:41 pm

Angry Dad

Angry Dad
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
This isnt funny anymore.

409I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Wed May 02, 2012 3:15 pm

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
Better not read it then.

410I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Wed May 02, 2012 3:58 pm

Quent

Quent
Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka
@Angry Dad wrote:This isnt funny anymore.

It was never funny!

411I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Wed May 02, 2012 3:59 pm

Quent

Quent
Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka
Percy is closing in. Marie has withdrawn free blow jobs. I might never see Denton again. Thanks for all your support......

412I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Wed May 02, 2012 4:48 pm

wanderlust

wanderlust
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Quent wrote: I might never see Denton again.
Well at least something positive has come out of it.
Look on the bright side. Marie clearly understands how committed you are to your relationship with her and that can only bode well for the future. If blow jobs (free or otherwise) are a discussion topic I can only assume that you've let her out of the wardrobe, so things are clearly on the up. She is free of her pimp and you are together 24/7. Surely it's just a matter of time before she realises which side her bread is buttered and takes you off into the sunset for a life of unbridled joy in some little pimp-proof hideaway. Keep your spirits up - we're all behind you!

413I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Wed May 02, 2012 6:39 pm

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
We now who is behind him Very Happy

414I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Wed May 02, 2012 8:03 pm

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
Keep your chin up, Quent - we are rooting for you.

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

415I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Thu May 03, 2012 7:59 pm

Quent

Quent
Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka
I fear Marie no longer loves me.

Percy finally caught up with me in Argos, just as I was buying a replacement ironing-board. Once her ties had been cut and her gag removed she embraced Percy as though he were her long lost father.

She gave me one last free blowjob behind the electrical display for old times sake and then told me we are finished, unless I pay the going rate. I'm seeing her tomorrow at 10am.

416I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Thu May 03, 2012 8:51 pm

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
I love a happy ending. Don't you?

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

417I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Thu May 03, 2012 8:52 pm

bwfc71

bwfc71
Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo
And the 10,000 lost!!!



Just one word to say - idiot!!!

418I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Thu May 03, 2012 9:19 pm

Quent

Quent
Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka
Cheers bwfc71, that makes me feel much better.

419I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Thu May 03, 2012 9:26 pm

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
We did warn you! There are none so blind than those that will not see. You let your pecker rule your brains on this occasion. Hopefully you will have learnt your lesson. Have you tried Match.com ?

420I'm in love with a Prostitute - Page 14 Empty Re: I'm in love with a Prostitute on Thu May 03, 2012 9:29 pm

Quent

Quent
Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka
@Reebok Trotter wrote:Have you tried Match.com ?

Are the hookers cheap, I'm £10k down remember.

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