Do You Want To Know When You'll Die?

I'm not just a pretty face and fountain of football knowledge because in my spare time I've been building a machine that can tell anyone that uses it when they will die.

I've been testing the machine on family and friends and, so far, it has been 100% accurate. But I'm worried there might not be a market for this machine, despite the genius behind it. Do people want to know when they will die?

Obviously if you're due to pop your clogs a week on Friday it would be beneficial to know in advance, so you won't spend the last 10 days of your life going to work, watching BWFC, and shagging the wife you hate. You could have the time of your life for 10 days.

I'm going on Dragon's Den on Sunday evening to pitch my machine, I fully expect a cat-fight between the Dragons to get their grubby hands on my machine. But the question is this, if you could find out the date of your death would you want to know?

If I knew when I would die, I'd probably die sooner than scheduled because of worrying. This would prove your machine to be faulty. My corpse would want my money back!

It's 100% accurate! So all your friends and family are now deceased? I don't want to have a go! In answer to your question, no I would not like to know when I am going to die...I do like a surprise...

I already know my date. It's the 21st December 2012. It's the day before our away game at Peterborough so I have saved some money on away tickets and transport costs.

Natasha Whittam wrote:I'm not just a pretty face and fountain of football knowledge because in my spare time I've been building a machine that can tell anyone that uses it when they will die.

I've been testing the machine on family and friends and, so far, it has been 100% accurate. But I'm worried there might not be a market for this machine, despite the genius behind it. Do people want to know when they will die?

Obviously if you're due to pop your clogs a week on Friday it would be beneficial to know in advance, so you won't spend the last 10 days of your life going to work, watching BWFC, and shagging the wife you hate. You could have the time of your life for 10 days.

I'm going on Dragon's Den on Sunday evening to pitch my machine, I fully expect a cat-fight between the Dragons to get their grubby hands on my machine. But the question is this, if you could find out the date of your death would you want to know?

Fuck off

BoltonTillIDie wrote:It's 100% accurate! So all your friends and family are now deceased?

None of them are, and that's why it's 100% accurate. The first one isn't due to die until February 2014, and that's my Uncle Ralph. I won't miss him to be honest.

if it was a long time in the future i'd like to know because, being practical, i could plan better. if i was going to die at 60 for example i wouldn't need to waste the next 35 years saving for a pension.

I'd like to know when it's my time, please send me the machine.

Bolton Hater wrote:I'd like to know when it's my time, please send me the machine.

We can arrange it for anytime you are ready, fatboy!!!!



Give me your email address, card details (along with the 3 digits on the back), and address and I will sort it out with the company in Switzerland.

Im sick of these pictures of coyle he looks fuckin irish to me.

Just tried it on myself and it gave the date 0000. Does this mean I am immortal? It would explain a lot.