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Joke Thread

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1 Joke Thread on Fri Jan 06, 2012 8:48 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Poor Bob Holness, only been at the pearly gates five minutes when Amy Winehouse stumbles over and asks, ' Can I have an E, please Bob ?'

2 Re: Joke Thread on Sat Jan 07, 2012 10:25 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
The new film about Margaret thatcher has been rated 12A. Unsuitable for miners.

3 Re: Joke Thread on Tue Jan 10, 2012 11:07 am

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
It's rumoured that Liverpool are in the market for a right winger. I hope it's not Nick Griffin, they are in enough trouble as it is.

4 Re: Joke Thread on Tue Jan 10, 2012 12:39 pm

aaron_bwfc

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Moderator
Moderator
Haha, oh how I have missed your jokes RT! Very Happy

5 Re: Joke Thread on Thu Jan 12, 2012 1:56 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Last night I met a girl who cleans her downstairs privates with floor detergent.....................Flash cnut!

6 Re: Joke Thread on Fri Jan 13, 2012 4:35 pm

wanderlust

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Irish guy in court for domestic violence for the 3rd time.

Judge asks "Paddy" (for that was indeed his name) "How come you always beat your wife?"

Paddy replies " Well your honour. I clearly have a height and reach advantage, but I mainly put it down to my superior footwork."

7 Re: Joke Thread on Fri Jan 13, 2012 4:36 pm

wanderlust

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Bloke shits in a lift.



It was just wrong on every level.

8 Re: Joke Thread on Sun Jan 15, 2012 6:54 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
When I heard that stephen hawking had reached seventy I thought, bugger me, that is one powerful wheelchair!

9 Re: Joke Thread on Sun Jan 15, 2012 7:31 pm

Keegan

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Moderator
Moderator
A bear and a rabbit were taking a shit in the woods. The bear turned to the rabbit and said, "Excuse me, do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit, pleased that bear seemed quite pleasant and polite, replied "Why, no - I don't have a problem with shit sticking to my fur!"

So the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.

http://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

10 Re: Joke Thread on Tue Jan 17, 2012 11:09 am

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
My brother Dave has just been diagnosed with Alzheimers disease. I hope it doesn't run in the family because my brother Dave has got it as well.

11 Re: Joke Thread on Tue Jan 17, 2012 6:50 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
When the Captain of the ill fated Costa Concordia was asked if he knew where he was going, he replied, " Off course "

12 Re: Joke Thread on Wed Jan 18, 2012 3:42 pm

Guest


Guest
Bolton Wanderers.

13 Re: Joke Thread on Wed Jan 18, 2012 4:14 pm

bwfc71

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Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo
Bolton Hater wrote:Bolton Wanderers.



Joke of the month!

Bolton Hater



Laughed so much that I almost split my sides.



Joke that came second - Steve Kean with no back up plan and no number 2 to blame!

14 Re: Joke Thread on Thu Jan 19, 2012 12:03 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Paddy and Murphy were aboard the cruise ship, Costa Concordia. Paddy says, " It's awfully quiet tonight." Murphy replies, " Everyone will be watching the band." Paddy says, " There isn't a band playing tonight." Murphy says, " There is. I definitely heard loads of people shouting a band on ship."

15 Re: Joke Thread on Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:40 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
I phoned my boss and told him I wouldn't be in work on Monday. He said, ' Your'e a man for christs sake.' I replied , " Correct, and you are a cunt."

16 Re: Joke Thread on Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:00 pm

Banks of the Croal

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Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
Two overweight regulars are sitting in the pub.

'Your round' said one, to which the other replied,
'You can talk you fat cunt!'

17 Re: Joke Thread on Fri Jan 20, 2012 8:13 pm

Banks of the Croal

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Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
A man walks into a pub with a lump of tarmac under his arm.

'A pint please, landlord' he says. 'And one for the road'.

18 Re: Joke Thread on Mon Jan 23, 2012 8:45 pm

bwfc71

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Ivan Campo
Ivan Campo
A boy was shagging a girl with OCD and she told him she was obsessed with doing everything alphabetically! 1st she wanted Anal, then she gave him a Blowjob, then he played with her Clit. Then, he took her Deep. He got up got dressed. She shouted oi wot about E? He said i've done E love - Ejaculated, and now i'm doing F, G & H Fucking Going Home!!!

19 Re: Joke Thread on Wed Jan 25, 2012 1:50 am

largehat

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Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
Paul Robinson.

20 Re: Joke Thread on Wed Jan 25, 2012 11:09 pm

Banks of the Croal

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Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Very true is that.

21 Re: Joke Thread on Tue Jan 31, 2012 10:48 am

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
I was once asked if I preferred legs or breast. I replied that I preferred a shaved fanny but apparently that isn't really appropriate in KFC.

22 Re: Joke Thread on Thu Feb 02, 2012 9:55 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
At least 84 people dead as supporters of rival teams clash after a football match in Egypt. The football world is shocked to the core that no Liverpool fans were involved.

23 Re: Joke Thread on Thu Feb 02, 2012 11:22 pm

Guest


Guest
I was getting a blow job off a girl with downs syndrome, but she wouldn't swallow. So to get my own back everytime I masturbated I used to cum on the window and let nature take it's course.

24 Re: Joke Thread on Mon Feb 06, 2012 1:51 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Apparently glass coffins are going to be all the rage! That remains to be seen.

25 Re: Joke Thread on Mon Feb 06, 2012 1:52 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Bad weather hits another football fixture. Tottenham match is off due to Harry Redknapp's bank accounts being frozen.

26 Re: Joke Thread on Tue Feb 07, 2012 12:23 am

Guest


Guest
I said to our 16 year old baby sitter last night you remind me of my little toe .
She said WHY is it because i am well formed, small and cute.
I said no it's because when i come home drunk tonight I'm going to bang you on that coffee table.

27 Re: Joke Thread on Wed Feb 08, 2012 10:03 pm

Guest


Guest
I'll never forget how happy i was when i saw my Mrs. walking down the aisle towards me.

My heart was beating fast and the excitement was unbearable.

It seemed to take an age but eventually.........

There she was, stood beside me.

I gave her a cheeky wink

and said,

"Get that fucking trolley over here, they're doing three cases of Beer for the price of two" Laughing

28 Re: Joke Thread on Thu Feb 09, 2012 1:34 pm

Reebok Trotter

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Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
A Blackburn girl and boy are playing hide and seek. The girls sends the boy a text saying, ' If you can find me I will let you give me one!' ....

and if you can't, I am hiding in the shed.

29 Re: Joke Thread on Thu Feb 09, 2012 10:01 pm

Sluffy

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Admin
I just got knocked off my bike by a lorry salting the roads.

"You Fucking Cunt" I shouted, through gritted teeth!

30 Re: Joke Thread on Fri Feb 10, 2012 11:32 am

Quent

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Nicolas Anelka
Nicolas Anelka
For some reason the following has won joke of the year:

"Conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes"

by some bloke called Tim Vine.

Are you laughing out loud?

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