memorable phrases

Inspired by the wonderful phrase used in Okocha's post re Trust in the Bolton banter section, thought I'd start a thread for phrases which stick with you. Its also 'cos I was watching rubbish tv early this morning (don't ask) and it was a forensic detectives thing and they said the first rules of forensics. Everyone I mentioned it to today said they knew it, I'd never heard it before, and think its a good metaphor for life as well.

First law of forensics

Everywhere you go, you leave something behind, you take something with you.

over to you...

All things being equal fat people use more soap.

You don't know what you don't know

Billy Bradshaw....'Aw Dad,it's not fair'.

Dad.......'Neither was Black Beauty's arse,now shut up'.

"All smells are particulate in nature, Watson. Hence when someone breaks wind and you get an eggy whiff, you've got little bits of their poo up your nose. Bear that in mind."

Conan Doyle - The Adventure of The Windy Trousers.

A hod's as good as a sink to a blind Norse.

A lie gets half way around the world before the truth has a chance to get its pants on.

You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

you cant polish a turd

Norpig wrote:you cant polish a turd

You can try.

boltonbonce wrote:

Norpig wrote:you cant polish a turd

You can try.

Women. You can't live with them and you can't handcuff them to a wall in the basement until your ready for the occasional sexual gratification.....






....apparently.

wanderlust wrote:Women. You can't live with them and you can't handcuff them to a wall in the basement until your ready for the occasional sexual gratification.....






....apparently.

We now know what you get up to in your spare time!

How long has your Mrs been down there?

Norpig wrote:you cant polish a turd

But you can spray it with air freshener and sprinkle it with glitter to make it more appealing.

That's another fine mess you've gotten me into.

Alejandro Gonzalez Inarritu, director of Birdman, Babel and The Revenant: "Fear is the condom of life: it doesn't allow you to enjoy yourself."

Shaky: "Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player, that struts and frets his hour upon the stage, and then is heard no more; it is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing." (Macbeth)

Do as I say, not as I do ... think it was said to me as a child but don't know who first said it.

Politicians and nappies have one thing in common. They should both be changed regularly and for the same reason.