the bellend ballad

Big fat michael bolton is back
And fuck me he thinks he's ace
If the Chelsea supporting prick carries on
Ill put him in his own suitcase

Mb and nat whittam are seperate
They arent the same person, fatty and the hoe
Yet both make up shite pointless threads
(I spend 120 pound a week, so you know)

Boggers and his little digs
Let's face it, he's far from dumb
Not so much a bellend
But definitely the sites biggest wum

Bring back angry dad for gods sake
Or we will drown in the tears of scott
Fearless leader of the bum
Yeah..........i think not

Before you get ahead of yourselves
And in true rap battle style
Ill call myself out no problem
Just like im battling on 8 mile

So here goes the big fat pot
Calling the big fat kettle black
As mb is just big boned and hungry
Where as im extremely fat

Nat isnt really that boring
All i do is talk about family and work
And edit peoples posts every so often
To make them look a berk

Surely this is wumming too
So maybe im worse than boggers
I need to come up with something more exciting
Watch out for my thread on doggers

I am very Serious though scott
No one wants AD back on here
Afterall he's a bit of a knob
Dont you shed one more tear

So ive called myself as much as you lot
So dont start fucking whinging
Or buying multi packs of twirls and pepsi
And doing some midnight binging

Hopefully youll see this for what it is
A bit of fun, i only jest
And mb, heres the biggest joke
I think that you're the best

Xxxx

Fair play to you Johnny, you've put your sulking time to good use.

Now come back so I can abuse you.

I knew that Johnny would be the first one to come out.

Beautiful!

Johnny, Your'e a poet and you don't know it!

Come on mb, i can see your on
Lets see you give what youve got
Or maybe your brains gone the same way
As your knob thats starting to rot

Lets face it, you get what you pay for
And your taste is very cheap
Lurking on bargain basement street corners
Looking like an oversized creep

Come on mb im getting bored
Wont you come on and play
All guns a blazing
Thinking your reggie kray

He was the gay one right?
The one you model yourself on
If ive upset you and you binge eat im sorry
Please stop, youll weigh a tonne

Ok johnny, here we go
I'm not here to act or just put on a show
You bumchums keep sulking its all you really know 
3 grown men like what the fuck bro??

it's time you came back along with bonce, even breadman
All this spare time isn't good for your dads head or his shed, man
Forget about MB he's a plastic cockney
Not worth your time, you need to rewind

To a time when it was all editing posts and having a laugh
Life's too short, for all this bullshit
So accept my apology and stop being a tit

Boggersbelief wrote:Ok johnny, here we go
I'm not here to act or just put on a show
You bumchums keep sulking its all you really know 
3 grown men like what the fuck bro??

it's time you came back along with bonce, even breadman
All this spare time isn't good for your dads head or his shed, man
Forget about MB he's a plastic cockney
Not worth your time, you need to rewind

To a time when it was all editing posts and having a laugh
Life's too short, for all this bullshit
So accept my apology and stop being a tit

When we created Nuts it was for a bit of fun,
Where people could find a laugh and a joke and maybe a friendly Wum.
But like all good things some took it a bit to far,
And started abusing folks and starting up a war.

There is no reason at all for people to be nasty,
Just because someone says for lunch they had a meat and potato pasty.
And if some think that Bruce is really a demi-God
So what, it does no harm even if it is a bit odd?

Nuts is not the place to take things too serious,
In fact if you did you'd probably go delirious.

But I guess occasionally people do hit a nerve from time to time,
And when that happens to me I simply recall a rhyme.
That my mother taught to me when I was just three,
That sticks and stones may break by bones but words (on the internet) will never harm me!

Now I hope you like my ditty and hope you don't think it's shitty,
Because I'm unlike most on here and not very witty.
But one thing I know I have is a clever head,
And what it is telling me right now is the site is so much better with Johnny, Bonce and Bread.

Sluffy wrote:When we created Nuts it was for a bit of fun,
Where people could find a laugh and a joke and maybe a friendly Wum.
But like all good things some took it a bit to far,
And started abusing folks and starting up a war.

There is no reason at all for people to be nasty,
Just because someone says for lunch they had a meat and potato pasty.
And if some think that Bruce is really a demi-God
So what, it does no harm even if it is a bit odd?

Nuts is not the place to take things too serious,
In fact if you did you'd probably go delirious.

But I guess occasionally people do hit a nerve from time to time,
And when that happens to me I simply recall a rhyme.
That my mother taught to me when I was just three,
That sticks and stones may break by bones but words (on the internet) will never harm me!

Now I hope you like my ditty and hope you don't think it's shitty,
Because I'm unlike most on here and not very witty.
But one thing I know I have is a clever head,
And what it is telling me right now is the site is so much better with Johnny, Bonce and Bread.

Fantastic that one Sluffy!

There was a young fool named Johnny
He thought Nuts was a place of harmony
He made a few friends
Got called a bellend 
And went running home to his mommy. 

Boggersbelief wrote:Ok johnny, here we go
I'm not here to act or just put on a show
You bumchums keep sulking its all you really know 
3 grown men like what the fuck bro??

it's time you came back along with bonce, even breadman
All this spare time isn't good for your dads head or his shed, man
Forget about MB he's a plastic cockney
Not worth your time, you need to rewind

To a time when it was all editing posts and having a laugh
Life's too short, for all this bullshit
So accept my apology and stop being a tit

Thanks for that boggers, it means the world
Youve always been one of my faves
But lets face it the bumchums rule all
Me and my two daves

I want them back as much as you do
Who knows a rap battle may tempt them back
Thats is if bonce doesnt fall off his shed
And give his head a crack

In all seriousness, as nat has said the bumchum thing is just a joke

Barb Dwyer wrote:There was a young fool named Johnny
He thought Nuts was a place of harmony
He made a few friends
Got called a bellend 
And went running home to his mommy. 

Come on barb thats not fair
Theres no need to be like that
I hold my hands up fair enough
For acting like a twat

Sluffy wrote:When we created Nuts it was for a bit of fun,
Where people could find a laugh and a joke and maybe a friendly Wum.
But like all good things some took it a bit to far,
And started abusing folks and starting up a war.

There is no reason at all for people to be nasty,
Just because someone says for lunch they had a meat and potato pasty.
And if some think that Bruce is really a demi-God
So what, it does no harm even if it is a bit odd?

Nuts is not the place to take things too serious,
In fact if you did you'd probably go delirious.

But I guess occasionally people do hit a nerve from time to time,
And when that happens to me I simply recall a rhyme.
That my mother taught to me when I was just three,
That sticks and stones may break by bones but words (on the internet) will never harm me!

Now I hope you like my ditty and hope you don't think it's shitty,
Because I'm unlike most on here and not very witty.
But one thing I know I have is a clever head,
And what it is telling me right now is the site is so much better with Johnny, Bonce and Bread.

Sluffy your like the gandalf of nuts
And i dont mean big and gay
A wise leader to guise us all
And i reckon slightly grey

I dont think i will post normally again
As i like this rhyming lark
But mb best not piss me off again
Because my bite is worse than my bark

Stop the crying and man the fuck up.
I thought you were a lion, not some little pup.
You've been crying for three days now.
Nat's won take a bow.
Come back and nuts will mend.
Stop being a total bellend.
Enough said from me.
Bursting for a pee.

scottjames30 wrote:Stop the crying and man the fuck up.
I thought you were a lion, not some little pup.
You've been crying for three days now.
Nat's won take a bow.
Come back and nuts will mend.
Stop being a total bellend.
Enough said from me.
Bursting for a pee.

Just so you know scott
Dont you fear
Unlike you over ad's banning
I never shed a tear

So think of this and not of me
As your squating like the bitch you are
Nat hasnt won fuck all
But you carry on worshipping from afar

Nat has won she's in your head.
Putting bonce off his shed.
She has met someone called clive.
He's the right height to muff dive.
Don't run away come back soon.
Get back on here singing the tune.
Crying's no good you know this is true.
Got to go now i need a poo.