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Bolton Nuts » BWFC » Wandering Minds » Keep Off The Roads

Keep Off The Roads

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scottjames30
boltonbonce
karlypants
Bollotom2014
Sluffy
Natasha Whittam
Bwfc1958
11 posters

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1Keep Off The Roads Empty Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 20:47

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I am absolutely fucking sick and tired of twats slowing me down on the roads.

Firstly, I'm sick of fucking cyclists. Just fuck off you leotard wearing tosspots. You look like wankers and you act like wankers. You don't pay road tax so get on the fucking path. And when I see two cyclists riding alongside one another I see the red mist - ripe for a little nudge knowing full well the law is on my side.

Secondly, fucking horses. Since when did it become ok to ride a fucking big horse on the road? If I rode my dog on the road and it shit everywhere I'd get arrested or fined. Horse shit doesn't seem to count in the shit stakes. Today I almost got out of my car and twated a horse rider. I'm going down a main road with a speed limit of 50mph and there's this big fuck off horse in the road with its rider motioning for cars to slow down around her horse. I wound my window down, shouted a loud of abuse at her, and told her to fuck off back to the field where horses belong.

Thirdly, and often the most annoying, fucking tractors. Just fuck off. Why the fuck does a tractor need to be on a main road? Especially one with no trailer. What's the driver doing, popping to Sainsburys for a fucking sausage roll and can of Pepsi? It's about time the police stepped in, tractors have no right to be on the road, I bet they cause more accidents than any other vehicle because people take crazy chances when trying to pass them.

Surely I'm not alone in thinking this?

2Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 20:49

Guest


Guest

Cyclists who ride next to each other can fuck off, completely agree and I cycle to work everyday. Part of the problem is that outside of London (in my experience) the urban cycle routes are shite.

3Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 20:53

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

bwfc1874 wrote:Cyclists who ride next to each other can fuck off, completely agree and I cycle to work everyday. Part of the problem is that outside of London (in my experience) the urban cycle routes are shite.

Yes, I thought you might be a cyclist. I bet you own a leotard.

I don't care that the cycle routes are shite, either get a bus, buy a car or fooking walk.

4Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 20:53

Bwfc1958

Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!

Natasha Whittam wrote:Secondly, fucking horses. 
Magoo won't be happy with you. That's one of his favourite pastimes.

5Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 20:55

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

Bwfc1958 wrote:Magoo won't be happy with you. That's one of his favourite pastimes.

I have no problem with horse shaggers, just twats who ride them on the road.

6Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 20:57

Guest


Guest

Natasha Whittam wrote:
bwfc1874 wrote:Cyclists who ride next to each other can fuck off, completely agree and I cycle to work everyday. Part of the problem is that outside of London (in my experience) the urban cycle routes are shite.

Yes, I thought you might be a cyclist. I bet you own a leotard.

I don't care that the cycle routes are shite, either get a bus, buy a car or fooking walk.

Nah can't stand the idiots with clip on shoes, lyrcra and stupid helmets. I make it my aim to take over them as often as possible, try and get in there heads.

Only an idiot drives a car in central London, it takes longer and costs more. Plus I now have monstrous calves.

7Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:00

Guest


Guest

Clip on shoes?

I've got some cycling shoes and you put them on like normal ones. (ie the foot goes in the hole in the top.)

How do the clip on ones work?

8Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:01

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

bwfc1874 wrote:Plus I now have monstrous calves.

That's not a nice look. Buy a car.

9Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:02

Guest


Guest

Clip onto your pedals so you gain speed pulling up as well as pushing down, great bit of kit for long distance, country cycling. Pointless crap when you're having to unclip every 5 minutes cycling through London.

10Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:04

Natasha Whittam

Natasha Whittam
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I can't believe you've turned this into a cycling thread.

11Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:10

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin

Natasha Whittam wrote:I can't believe you've turned this into a cycling thread.

Anybody interested in my views on the currently ongoing Giro d'Italia and the recently completed Tour of California then?

12Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:13

Bollotom2014

Bollotom2014
Andy Walker
Andy Walker

I was once riding a base bike across the base when a bloody great Tornado did a fly-by just above my head. Blew me off the bike and scraped my elbows and knees. Made the bugger buy me a pint or I'd divert him to Scotland at the first opportunity. Lots of probs with tractors and twisty lanes which are death traps when the locals are out and about. And London is a bugger with cyclists rewriting the rule book. I always maintain cyclists are on a mission to see how long they can survive before the inevitable.
I once bought a bike and thought I'd give it a good run. Cycled to Brighton, took me four days, sold the bike and came back on the train. Buggers should be banned.

13Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:14

Guest


Guest

bwfc1874 wrote:Clip onto your pedals so you gain speed pulling up as well as pushing down, great bit of kit for long distance, country cycling.

Yeah, I know.

(They help with maintaining your cadence if we want to get all technical about it.)

I was trying to be a smart arse and make a joke out of the way you described them but it wasn't that funny really.

Sorry.

14Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:17

Guest


Guest

Cyclists in london as well as everywhere else tbh are bellends.  On and off the pavements as and when they feel.  Going through red lights.  Undertaking when they can see you indicating then give you abuse for it.  The sooner they make cyclists pay tax and insurance and give them something like reg plates so we can start fining the dick heads the better  as im sure they are not all like that.

15Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:20

Guest


Guest

This thread is taking on a very nasty cyclistist hue.

I am beginning to feel like a persecuted minority.

Can I have a Council house and some free money now please?

16Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:22

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I agree that's it's about time all cyclists got insurance and their bikes properly registered.

17Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:23

Guest


Guest

Breadman wrote:
bwfc1874 wrote:Clip onto your pedals so you gain speed pulling up as well as pushing down, great bit of kit for long distance, country cycling.

Yeah, I know.

(They help with maintaining your cadence if we want to get all technical about it.)

I was trying to be a smart arse and make a joke out of the way you described them but it wasn't that funny really.

Sorry.


Not a problem, as SK will tell you I'm missing a sense of humour.

18Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:23

Guest


Guest

Breadman wrote:This thread is taking on a very nasty cyclistist hue.

I am beginning to feel like a persecuted minority.

Can I have a Council house and some free money now please?
Sorry breaders.  Im sure you are in the minority of the considerate few.  But unfortuantely it is a very small minority that are cyclists who are good road users.

And why are they all so angry.  They think that helmet is going to stop someone splattering their nose all over their face?

19Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:24

Guest


Guest

karlypants wrote:I agree that's it's about time all cyclists got insurance and their bikes properly registered.
:like:

20Keep Off The Roads Empty Re: Keep Off The Roads Mon May 23 2016, 21:25

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse

I tend to walk everywhere these days,and almost came to blows with a cyclist who was riding on the pavement,and accused ME of being in HIS way.
I soon told him where to go.
Incidentally,he was about three stone overweight,but still insisted on wearing the lycra. Why do they do that?
Another pain in the arse for walkers are these bastards. Come at me from everywhere.
Keep Off The Roads Simplantex-SCPY011-4
As for cars,I hate them.

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