There is a fly in my kitchen.

Seen as the threads are the worst ever, I thought I'd join in and contribute.

What's the best way to get rid of a fly (on your window) if you hit it with a newspaper it makes a mess, spray it with something, what other methods are there?

Chopsticks

suggestions would be in preference

1) set the cat on it, nothing funnier than a cat dancing on a pane of glass.
2) Open the window
3) glass over fly, slide paper under glass and take out side to set free.
4) swot the bugger and clean up the mess.

I've done all four and depends on the mood I am in and how much effort I want to invest, answering the above has made me realise how precarious the life of a fly is, however I guess we are all someone's metaphorical kitchen fly.

Can of deodorant and a lighter, creates your own firefly.

I couldn't harm a fly.

A man walks into doctor's office. "What seems to be the problem?" asks the doc. "It's ... um ... well ... I have five penises." replies the man. "Blimey!" says the doctor, "How do your trousers fit?" "Like a glove."