Life As We Know It: Countdown To Extinction

Experts have today announced that the UK only has three years worth of electricity left. By Winter of 2015 it will all be gone and we will be plunged into a new dark age.

So it's utterly incredible that the news is still being dominated by Jimmy Saville and John Terry - in three years time there won't even be TV or football.

So you'd better get ready geeks. No longer will you be able to sit at your computer screen all day and live in a fantasy world. No more porn, no more instant messaging, no more collecting "friends" on Facebook and no more pretending to unsuspecting women that you're a Brad Pitt lookalike.

Your phone will be useless. No text messages, no more looking at it every 13 seconds to see if some "friend" has sent you a bland message about what they had for breakfast, and basically no more living your life in the palm of your hand.

In fact, I'm not sure many of you will last a week without electricty. It will force you to come out into the open and interact with other (real) people. Most of you will have a lot of spare time now that you don't have 24 hour access to porn so will probably end up going crazy before 2015 is out.

Basically, you are fucked.

How are you going to cope without electricity? Maybe you are looking forward to it, getting back to nature and actually experiencing life rather than watching someone else experience it.

We will have to learn to cope just like our ancestors did. Personally, I have already started making plans.

The Tories changed their logo to a tree, i think that means they're committed to finding new forms of "green energy" so don't worry folks!

[it definitely wasn't populist opportunism when global warming became a hot issue]

This global warning is a load of bollocks. My neighbour had a greenhouse erected in his back garden so I smashed every single pane of glass in it. When he asked what the fcuk I was playing at I just said, ' Haven't you heard of the greenhouse effect you selfish bastard.'

Reebok Trotter wrote:We will have to learn to cope just like our ancestors did. Personally, I have already started making plans.

Hows that secret base of yours coming along RT,

Should be completed by early December. I'll certainly be safe come the 21st. I've invested in a wind up radio in case the game against Peterborough goes ahead on the 22nd.

I think the replies on this thread are typical of society today. No one believes we will run out of fuel, they think governments will come up with some great plan to save us all. They won't.

The world will be a VERY different place in 10 years time, some of you need to wake up, stop producing sprogs, and do something to help mankind.

Natasha Whittam wrote: some of you need to wake up, stop producing sprogs, and do something to help mankind.

I've done my bit. I had my plums neutered years ago.

No more porn on the internet! Serious shit. We'd be forced back to the dark days of having to find it in hedgerows and that doesn't get any easier.

http://www.newsbiscuit.com/2010/09/24/nation-mourns-death-of-last-depositor-of-porn-mags-in-hedges/

Talking about porn,just heard on the radio a german firm have just announced a new line in bottled spirits,they pour the spirits over the tits of a glamour model, a bottle sells for about a hundred quid.

That's bollocks.

Oh ps. Where is the report that says we are about to run out of fuel?

Its a serious problem, and though we won't suddenly lose all our electricity, there are liklihoods of prolonged power cuts.

jayjay23 wrote:Oh ps. Where is the report that says we are about to run out of fuel?

A fuel expert has confirmed that Britain will run out of electricity by the Winter of 2015. He claims the country will step back in time to 1825, and over 75% of the population will die out inside the first 6 months due to having no grasp of life without a mobile phone.

It's been on the news tonight that our electricity and fuel supplies are unlikely to be able to sustain us for the foreseeable and that fuel prices will rise accordingly.

It's probably bloody scaremongering so the energy companies can put up yet another price hike in the not too distant future.

I still have all my Damart clothing so it won't affect me.

If anyone is worried just start stocking up with a few Tok H lamps and you will be fine.

RT are you prepared for the apocalypse? I always wanted to get prepared just never been able to afford to stock up and make the plans that I have in my head.

If we didn't have such an ridiculous foreign policy the government might have a few bob left over to focus on the important things.

you know, the infrastructure of this country. Rail, Roads, energy, tech.

Look at the kind of infrastructure they have in Japan, makes this country look third world. Or the integration of high speed tech in Sweden.

we are soooooooooooo far behind it's not even funny. Green energy is another area. I hope we do end up in the dark ages, It'll be like the Walking Dead. When it happens Labour will blame the tories and the tories will blame labour.... wankers.

Problem with this country when ever a part of our Infrastructure needs repairing/renewing it causes problems, mostly for the Motorist.

So i blame the Motorist, there are too many of them.

Reebok Trotter wrote:It's been on the news tonight that our electricity and fuel supplies are unlikely to be able to sustain us for the foreseeable and that fuel prices will rise accordingly.

It's probably bloody scaremongering so the energy companies can put up yet another price hike in the not too distant future.

I still have all my Damart clothing so it won't affect me.

If anyone is worried just start stocking up with a few Tok H lamps and you will be fine.

Of course its scaremongering, how else can they keep up the 200% profits year on year from unsuspecting public like Natasha and co.



I pay €30/month for my electicity and there is definitely no talk of energy running out, in fact more enegry is being bought!!!!!!! And that is after the 2% rise in the VAT which took place on 1/10/2012.....



UK is susceptable to profit-taking because they know no government will stanhd gaianst them power companies - fear of sutting down the energy output, but other countries don't give a shit and do set laws to stop the power companies from profiteering. The UK are a complete soft-touch!!!

There really is a problem with energy, the unfortunate thing is that any information is also tied in with how prices go up, and it this bit I don't understand. Why should it go up ? If we are maxed out on the making and delivery ofelectricity, for example, how can increasing the price make a difference? we kinow the greedy bastards don't invest enough, because they are too busy creaming off all the profits for the shareholders. If we can't supply more, and investment isn't going to make a difference, why the increase? I know its a naive(?) question, because investment equals increase, etc, but the chances of coping with demand are still unlikely. RT, got an extension on your holiday home, I might come visiting ?