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When tax is too taxing.

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1When tax is too taxing. Empty When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 08:12

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
Reading about Egotricity's six-year issues with HMRC, reminded me of the trial and acquittal of Ken Dodd. Next week's the second anniversary of Doddy's death but his memory lives on:

''When income tax was introduced it was tuppence in the pound. I thought it still was!"

"I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside."

"Good evening, my name is Kenneth Arthur Dodd; singer, photographic playboy and failed accountant!"

When asked by the judge in his trial, "What does £100,000 in a suitcase feel like?", Dodd replied, "The notes are very light, M'Lord."

And specially for Boncey from George Carman QC, Doddy's barrister, , "Some accountants are comedians, but comedians are never accountants"

2When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 08:21

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Accountancy always looks like this to me. Very Happy
When tax is too taxing. Giphy.gif?cid=790b7611e3b2d3d742636aea0b207e01aef8d5d2c643a59c&rid=giphy

3When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 08:24

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:Accountancy always looks like this to me. Very Happy
When tax is too taxing. Giphy.gif?cid=790b7611e3b2d3d742636aea0b207e01aef8d5d2c643a59c&rid=giphy
You haven't been reading those Egotricity accounts again, have you?

4When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 08:27

xmiles

xmiles
Jay Jay Okocha
Jay Jay Okocha
@Ten Bobsworth wrote:Reading about Egotricity's six-year issues with HMRC, reminded me of the trial and acquittal of Ken Dodd. Next week's the second anniversary of Doddy's death but his memory lives on:

''When income tax was introduced it was tuppence in the pound. I thought it still was!"

"I told the Inland Revenue I didn't owe them a penny because I lived near the seaside."

"Good evening, my name is Kenneth Arthur Dodd; singer, photographic playboy and failed accountant!"

When asked by the judge in his trial, "What does £100,000 in a suitcase feel like?", Dodd replied, "The notes are very light, M'Lord."

And specially for Boncey from George Carman QC, Doddy's barrister, , "Some accountants are comedians, but comedians are never accountants"

Just another rich greedy **** who evaded paying his fair share of tax.

5When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 08:31

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
I'm illiterate when presented by an account book. Yet, rather like the man who only sings in the shower, consider myself of Metropolitan Opera standard.
When tax is too taxing. Giphy.gif?cid=790b76115b06a2f44d8d20b747d543103c75e0083bda7fef&rid=giphy

6When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 08:42

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:I'm illiterate when presented by an account book. Yet, rather like the man who only sings in the shower, consider myself of Metropolitan Opera standard.
When tax is too taxing. Giphy.gif?cid=790b76115b06a2f44d8d20b747d543103c75e0083bda7fef&rid=giphy
That's not much different to 'most people', Boncey.  But I can recommend a very good book.'The Great Tax Robbery' by Richard Brooks. It includes a chapter on footie tax avoiders. Doddy was just a shrimp in the great scheme of things.

7When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 09:03

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Ten Bobsworth wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:I'm illiterate when presented by an account book. Yet, rather like the man who only sings in the shower, consider myself of Metropolitan Opera standard.
When tax is too taxing. Giphy.gif?cid=790b76115b06a2f44d8d20b747d543103c75e0083bda7fef&rid=giphy
That's not much different to 'most people', Boncey.  But I can recommend a very good book.'The Great Tax Robbery' by Richard Brooks. It includes a chapter on footie tax avoiders. Doddy was just a shrimp in the great scheme of things.
Thanks Bob, now I'll know what to avoid in the library. 

"Big Broads Don't Cry', now that's more like it. 23 chapters, ten murders, and a big stripper called Roxie.

8When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 09:37

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:
@Ten Bobsworth wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:I'm illiterate when presented by an account book. Yet, rather like the man who only sings in the shower, consider myself of Metropolitan Opera standard.
When tax is too taxing. Giphy.gif?cid=790b76115b06a2f44d8d20b747d543103c75e0083bda7fef&rid=giphy
That's not much different to 'most people', Boncey.  But I can recommend a very good book.'The Great Tax Robbery' by Richard Brooks. It includes a chapter on footie tax avoiders. Doddy was just a shrimp in the great scheme of things.
Thanks Bob, now I'll know what to avoid in the library. 

"Big Broads Don't Cry', now that's more like it. 23 chapters, ten murders, and a big stripper called Roxie.
What a shame. You won't know what you've missed.

But if you insist on restricting your reading, you might like Strip Tease by Carl Hiaasen or almost anything by Carl Hiaasen.

Only in America could an innocent, if drunken, guest of honour at a strip joint bachelor party become a mortal threat against Big Money and Big Governmement

New York Times Book Review said:

YOUR SIDES HURT AFTER A WHILE, JUST FROM READING

Is that not up your street?

Is there still a library in Farnworth btw?

9When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 09:49

xmiles

xmiles
Jay Jay Okocha
Jay Jay Okocha
I am with you on this TB. It is perfectly possible to enjoy reading The Great Tax Robbery by Richard Brooks and any of the Carl Hiaasen novels. Smile

It is just a pity that so few people in this country understand how the tax system really works. In essence the very wealthy only pay the tax they choose to pay and nothing is done to counter it.

10When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 09:56

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Bob, I'm no longer in Farnworth. I'm in Birchwood near Warrington, and, although we have a library. I never use it.
Books are so cheap on Amazon, you can buy them, read them, then pass them on to the charity shop.
I'll have a look at the book you suggested. Might get it on Kindle.

11When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 10:39

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:Bob, I'm no longer in Farnworth. I'm in Birchwood near Warrington, and, although we have a library. I never use it.
Books are so cheap on Amazon, you can buy them, read them, then pass them on to the charity shop.
I'll have a look at the book you suggested. Might get it on Kindle.
If you have a look on Amazon you'll also see Richard Brooks' book entitled Bean Counters. I haven't read it but I would recommend a brief look at some of the Amazon reviews. These echo my own limited experiences of the Big Four.

BWFC at one time was audited by Arthur Andersen, which notorously went belly up from the Enron scandal, and later by Deloittes. But I'd also say that I saw no questionable accounting practices in the club's balance sheets during the Davies or Anderson era except for some relatively minor doubts over the description of certain transactions relating, one way or another, to the Holdsworth/Anderson dispute.

12When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 10:52

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Last book about financial matters I read was 'The Wizard Of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust'.

13When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 11:14

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:Last book about financial matters I read was 'The Wizard Of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust'.
It was about Bernie Madoff was it, not the Chief Football Writer of the Bolton News?
They got Robert De Niro to play Bernie when they made a film of it.
If they made a film about the BN, who would they cast as Mr 'I'm no business expert'?

14When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 11:32

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Ten Bobsworth wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:Last book about financial matters I read was 'The Wizard Of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust'.
It was about Bernie Madoff was it, not the Chief Football Writer of the Bolton News?
They got Robert De Niro to play Bernie when they made a film of it.
If they made a film about the BN, who would they cast as Mr 'I'm no business expert'?
Tough one. You always big yourself up in movies, so.......

Marc Iles.........Jason Statham

Ken Anderson.......Danny De Vito

Lee Anderson........Andy Serkis in a suit

15When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 12:18

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:
@Ten Bobsworth wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:Last book about financial matters I read was 'The Wizard Of Lies: Bernie Madoff and the Death of Trust'.
It was about Bernie Madoff was it, not the Chief Football Writer of the Bolton News?
They got Robert De Niro to play Bernie when they made a film of it.
If they made a film about the BN, who would they cast as Mr 'I'm no business expert'?
Tough one. You always big yourself up in movies, so.......

Marc Iles.........Jason Statham

Ken Anderson.......Danny De Vito

Lee Anderson........Andy Serkis in a suit
I'm going:

Marc Iles ....... Alexei Sayle

Ken Anderson..... Jack Nicholson

Lee Anderson ..... Nigel Planer (The Young Ones)

16When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 23:29

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
Ken Dodd, famously said that he would like to be Chancellor of the Exchequer so he could be re-united with his money but seeing how no-one's made the connection between the anniversary of Doddy's death and Rishi Sunak, lets try summat else, especially for Boncey. Who is this Bolton Wanderers supporter and what's the connection with the Bolton Wanderers SupportersTrust?
When tax is too taxing. 9k=



Last edited by Ten Bobsworth on Tue Mar 03 2020, 08:45; edited 1 time in total

17When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Mon Mar 02 2020, 23:45

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
That's Michael Izza......Daniel Izza.

18When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Tue Mar 03 2020, 08:38

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:That's Michael Izza......Daniel Izza.
Well done Boncey. Go to the top of the class. What's his job?

P.S. Rishi Sunak will be presenting his first Budget on the second anniversary of Doddy's death. I wonder if he'll mention it.



Last edited by Ten Bobsworth on Sat Mar 14 2020, 14:11; edited 1 time in total

19When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Tue Mar 03 2020, 10:24

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
This is like being on Mastermind. Last I heard he was CEO of ICAEW. 

So Vinny used a loophole. Let me know when he's arrested.

I'm more interested in his slippers. He strikes me as the type of bounder who goes about in bare feet. This would be beyond the pale, and I'd have to throw him to the dogs if this turns out to be the case.

20When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Tue Mar 03 2020, 10:52

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:This is like being on Mastermind. Last I heard he was CEO of ICAEW. 

So Vinny used a loophole. Let me know when he's arrested.

I'm more interested in his slippers. He strikes me as the type of bounder who goes about in bare feet. This would be beyond the pale, and I'd have to throw him to the dogs if this turns out to be the case.
A combination of loopholes really. HMRC have been closing in on 'disguised remuneration' for a long time and some smaller businesses that used it in a comparatively small way might go to the wall as a consequence.

The Tories said they were going to do something about the abuse of another big tax relief in their manifesto and we might well see that happen next week.

I can't honestly see Mr Vince wearing slippers whether in his castle or on his high horse, so it might have to be the dogs. But can you prove it?

Look out for 'Parlour games' btw if you get hold of a copy of Richard Brooks' book
.

There's another excellent book on a similar theme called 'Treasure Islands' by Nicholas Shaxson. I had a copy of both but it looks like Shaxson's book has been 'borrowed' from Grandad's library.



Last edited by Ten Bobsworth on Sat Mar 14 2020, 14:13; edited 2 times in total

21When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Tue Mar 03 2020, 11:50

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
All the stuff about the Arsenal arrangements came out of Parlour's divorce proceedings.

Another unfortunate divorcee with a high horse is Gary Winston Lineker. Gary had an interest in six companies whilst married to the lovely Danielle but All Jazz Ltd got liquidated around the time of the divorce with each of the two £1 shareholders sharing £921K. He also seems to have resigned from two Ingenious Film LLPs.

But all isn't lost, as Gary still has an interest in another three companies which also involve a number of high income/net worth individuals. 

On the briefest glance I couldn't help noticing David Baddiel, Kate Adie, Jeremy Paxman, Shaka Hislop, Jamie Carragher, Steven Gerrard, Emile Heskey, Jussi Jaaskelainen, Claus Jensen, Anthony Barness and BWFC's current Assistant Manager, Garry William Flitcroft all with an apparent interest in the film industry.



Last edited by Ten Bobsworth on Wed Mar 04 2020, 08:29; edited 1 time in total

22When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Wed Mar 04 2020, 07:21

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:This is like being on Mastermind. Last I heard he was CEO of ICAEW. 

So Vinny used a loophole. Let me know when he's arrested.

I'm more interested in his slippers. He strikes me as the type of bounder who goes about in bare feet. This would be beyond the pale, and I'd have to throw him to the dogs if this turns out to be the case.
They don't have photo questions on Mastermind but I would guarantee that, if a photo of Michael Izza appeared on Pointless, it would be a pointless answer. How come you recognised him, Boncey?

23When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Wed Mar 04 2020, 07:29

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Ten Bobsworth wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:This is like being on Mastermind. Last I heard he was CEO of ICAEW. 

So Vinny used a loophole. Let me know when he's arrested.

I'm more interested in his slippers. He strikes me as the type of bounder who goes about in bare feet. This would be beyond the pale, and I'd have to throw him to the dogs if this turns out to be the case.
They don't have photo questions on Mastermind but I would guarantee that, if a photo of Michael Izza appeared on Pointless, it would be a pointless answer. How come you recognised him, Boncey?
I'd heard of him, mainly because of Daniel, but a quick picture search was all it needed.

24When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Wed Mar 04 2020, 14:24

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:
@Ten Bobsworth wrote:
@boltonbonce wrote:This is like being on Mastermind. Last I heard he was CEO of ICAEW. 

So Vinny used a loophole. Let me know when he's arrested.

I'm more interested in his slippers. He strikes me as the type of bounder who goes about in bare feet. This would be beyond the pale, and I'd have to throw him to the dogs if this turns out to be the case.
They don't have photo questions on Mastermind but I would guarantee that, if a photo of Michael Izza appeared on Pointless, it would be a pointless answer. How come you recognised him, Boncey?
I'd heard of him, mainly because of Daniel, but a quick picture search was all it needed.
Do you mean to say that he looked a bit like Daniel Izza and you tracked it down in minutes? You missed your vocation, Boncey. Spent your life working for a two cuppas one tea bag geezer when you could have been at Scotland Yard tracking down Lord Lucan.

25When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Wed Mar 04 2020, 15:19

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin
@Ten Bobsworth wrote:Do you mean to say that he looked a bit like Daniel Izza and you tracked it down in minutes? You missed your vocation, Boncey. Spent your life working for a two cuppas one tea bag geezer when you could have been at Scotland Yard tracking down Lord Lucan.

Nothing like that Bob, he just used Google images, that's all.

When you click on to google, towards the top right of the screen is a link entitled 'images' just click on that - you will then see a little 'camera' in the Google search box.

Click on the camera and it asks you to put in the URL of the picture you have and then click on search - it's as easy as that.


The URL is basically the 'address/identification description' of the picture.

You find it by simply clicking on the picture and clicking copy.


Like everything it is easy when you know how.


I've sort of self taught myself to do these things myself and the way I go about them is probably not the best way.

Also Nuts itself seems to be configured in a non standard way and by trial and error I've taught myself to do stuff on here that seems to be more involved and complicated than perhaps doing the same things on other sites is - but I generally get there in the end.

I'm more than happy to explain to you/anyone else how I do stuff but I think you would probably be a lot better off getting your son and/or grandchildren to give you a quick lesson on how to do google picture searches as I'm certain that I'm probably not doing it the best or simplest of ways and I wouldn't want to make things more difficult for you/anyone to do, than they actually are.

Bottom line is though to never play picture quizzes on here with Bonce - he cheats!!!

Very Happy

26When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Thu Mar 05 2020, 08:03

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@Sluffy wrote:
@Ten Bobsworth wrote:Do you mean to say that he looked a bit like Daniel Izza and you tracked it down in minutes? You missed your vocation, Boncey. Spent your life working for a two cuppas one tea bag geezer when you could have been at Scotland Yard tracking down Lord Lucan.

Nothing like that Bob, he just used Google images, that's all.

When you click on to google, towards the top right of the screen is a link entitled 'images' just click on that - you will then see a little 'camera' in the Google search box.

Click on the camera and it asks you to put in the URL of the picture you have and then click on search - it's as easy as that.


The URL is basically the 'address/identification description' of the picture.

You find it by simply clicking on the picture and clicking copy.


Like everything it is easy when you know how.


I've sort of self taught myself to do these things myself and the way I go about them is probably not the best way.

Also Nuts itself seems to be configured in a non standard way and by trial and error I've taught myself to do stuff on here that seems to be more involved and complicated than perhaps doing the same things on other sites is - but I generally get there in the end.

I'm more than happy to explain to you/anyone else how I do stuff but I think you would probably be a lot better off getting your son and/or grandchildren to give you a quick lesson on how to do google picture searches as I'm certain that I'm probably not doing it the best or simplest of ways and I wouldn't want to make things more difficult for you/anyone to do, than they actually are.

Bottom line is though to never play picture quizzes on here with Bonce - he cheats!!!

Very Happy
Thanks, Sluffy. Despite my advancing years I can still usually tell when there's more to summat than meets the eye.

I got my free TV licence yesterday. It expires in May and I'm not sure I'd have bothered applying for it if it hadn't been for Gary Winston Lineker. Not satisfied with drawing £1.5m p.a. from the BBC whilst taking advantage of half a dozen tax-avoidance schemes, he also has to go round on his high horse telling the electorate how to vote.

Three of Lineker's 'film investments' were with the Ingenious group whose schemes were estimated to cost the taxpayer £1.6 billion, if they hadn't been pulled up by HMRC. Think how many doctors, nurses and teachers that could pay for.

27When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Thu Mar 05 2020, 08:27

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
By the way Bob, here's a quote from my penny pinching late boss.

Stupid people do make me lose my temper and most people are stupid, fortunately for me. It's made it easier for me to make a living.


Shocked

28When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Thu Mar 05 2020, 08:49

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:By the way Bob, here's a quote from my penny pinching late boss.

Stupid people do make me lose my temper and most people are stupid, fortunately for me. It's made it easier for me to make a living.


Shocked
Do you mean he didn't pretend to be summat he wasn't?
What do they call them? Charlatans isn't it?

29When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Thu Mar 05 2020, 08:56

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
He was a philanthropist. Apparently. And was given a Papal Knighthood.

30When tax is too taxing. Empty Re: When tax is too taxing. on Thu Mar 05 2020, 09:00

Ten Bobsworth


Tony Kelly
Tony Kelly
@boltonbonce wrote:He was a philanthropist. Apparently. And was given a Papal Knighthood.
Wouldn't be Albert Gubay, would it?

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