Behind Enemy Lines - Sheffield Wednesday

A lot more material for me to go on this time, Wednesday fans clearly think they are Barcelona and shouldn't be losing to "tinpot" clubs like Bolton. Anyway, the following are taken from various Sheffield Wednesday forums around the web....

It's still 1997 in Sheffield as SheffieldSam gets in his prediction:

I'm predicting a 5-0 win. Andy Booth to get a hatrick

You learn something everyday, thanks WednesdayWonker:

Fun fact: Bolton is actually named after Michael Bolton, who as a mark of respect changed his name from 'Michael Bolton' to 'Michael, Bolton'

The ultimate insult from OwlInOrange:

Anyone see that documentary the other week about the area in Blackburn called Shadwell, well Bolton is 100 times worse, I caught AIDS just driving through it.

SillySimon knows his stuff:

They'll finish as low as we will this season. Hopefully Coyle will stay in charge to make sure of that.

Glenn59 doesn't like us:

Fuck off and die you fooking inbred lancashire stinky flaps

Barmyowl1212 still thinks Wednesday are a big club:

Typical small club fan mentality. Thought we had left this shit behind in League 1

Adem_Poric watches a lot of TV:

On the train and loads of Bolton fans just got on at Manchester. They ALL sound like Paddy Mcguinness and that fat fuck Peter Kay. They can all fuck off.

BiltonBoris knows you can choose your friends but not your family:

A Wednesday win please ! First time the two sides play each other since I Married a Bolton lass 6 years ago and her entire family support Notlob! I'm happy to offer my bitch of a mother-in-law as a sacrifice to the gods if we can win this one, 4-2 to the MASSIVE....................PLEEEEEAAAAASSSSEEEEE

OwlsLair is not a fan of ex-Wanderer Jermaine Johnson:

Do you remember that rumour about Jermaine Johnson when he first came to us? It was going round that the reason he left Jamaica was that he was a getaway driver in a bank robbery. I can well believe this, he's certainly been robbin' a living off us recently.

Sonny1978 is still chanting....

God we're going to win so fucking hard today.

I'm going to continuously chant..

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

WIN

Until we win.

Striker45 thinks we're ace:

Bolton have a very good side there and afraid I see another defeat. Come on lads prove me wrong and stuff these twats today.

The game kicks off and NYCOWL is another Wednesday fan who doesn't like his in-laws:

How are we playing lads? I'm stuck at the fucking in-laws and I swear my fat cunt of a motherinlaw is giving me the come on. I could be a while.

Alwaysanowl is an Eagles fan:

Eagles a different class already, he will be on the score sheet today, come on Wednesday

So is Paney12:

Eagles looks brilliant, but what a fucking poser. I bet he was having his nails manicured right up until 3pm.

Was SheffieldLoveIn at the same game?:

We're all over them, can only see one team winning this. Fuck off back to Bolton you inbread wankers. Gonna be 3-0 SW.

Bolton go 1-0 up just before halftime and the locals aren't happy:

Poo

Bum

Gonads

I'm quite livid

Fuck off Jones you Welsh cunt

Resign you criminal

I just farted a shit into my kecks

TheTruth67 blames Wednesday manager Dave Jones but he knows how to improve things:

my fuckin scrotum could have picked a better team than this dipshit. my scrotum will be applying for the job when jones is sacked

The Half-time whistle goes and it's doom and gloom from the Wednesday fans:

We just got relegated

45 minutes of bullshit, thanks Dave

I'm off to stick my balls in a vice

Bolton haven't won away all season and then they come here...

The Bolton fans are laughing at us

Shock! Horror! Someone rates Ngog. Is RhinestoneCowboy Ngog's brother?:

Ngog is doing precisely what Bothroyd is paid to do...look fukin dangerous

These comments won't please doffcocker:

Kevin Davies is too strong for us

That fat fuck has won every fucking header

Davies is too good for this division

We should offer Bolton £3m for Kevin Davies

The second half kicks off and Wednesday quickly get a penalty and make it 1-1:

Fuck a duck, the bent ref has forgotten which way Bolton are kicking

Fuckin yes, fuckin yes, fuckin yes, fuckin yes

We'll go on and win this now, our season starts here

I'm off for a wank

Take that you Bolton benders, fuck off!!!!!!

Their good mood is shortlived however as Mark Davies cracks in a great goal. Torvill&Queen is not happy:

Typical fucking Wednesday, score a goal then let some tart dance his way through the defence. Will we ever learn? Jones out. In or out of a box.

Wednesday think everyone is tinpot, especially FalconFace:

I am fucking sick to death of these tinpot clubs like Bolton, Blackpool, Blackburn and Wigan with their few hundred supporters turning us over. We've kicked more people out of the ground today than Bolton bring to Hillsborough. When are we going to reclaim our rightful place with the elite. Sack the board and the manager.

To be fair Owl7908 is correct:

we'll always have more fans that you fuckers, look at them dancing about like they've just won the Premier League

StaceyCarp is a Mavies fan:

oh dear... premiership class... what a goal

Vince45 isn't, although to be fair he does think Kevin scored:

fuck off davies you fat cunt, all you ever do is elbow and back into people, you've made a fucking career out of being a thug. fuck off back to subway and eat a 24 incher.

Vince45 sees the error of his ways:

ok, so fat davies didn't score, but my comments stand

The ref brings the game to an end and Bolton have won 2-1. As always there is a mixture of honesty and rage:

I thought they looked good, best team we've played

Eagles was very good.

I thought they looked poor. Eagles only decent player.

I thought Eagles was good but they were distinctly average. Big and strong as usual but for a team that spent so long in the top flight I ended up feeling really dissapointed that we didnt get anything.

Considering there were 2 divisions between the sides last season, bolton were poor. We didn't play well by any means, but we were still the better team first half. If bolton fans were happy with what they saw today, that's up to them, but on that showing they'll be mid-table at best and given that they'll be expected to go straight back up, coyle will be gone before the end of the season.

We were the better side, Eagles is the difference for them

not one of our team would get in theirs... Bolton are just better... nothing you can do about that

The last word goes to 3CardMarcus who is clearly posting from the nuthouse:

I hate you, I hate you. You fucking bunch of pricks. I eat your children. You won't see me, I'll be hiding in your wheelie bin and when you least expect it I will jump up and karate chop your skinny neck. You are a disgrace to Wednesday players of the past who would die for the shirt. You will die, but it won't be for the shirt, it will be for being a team of lazy cunts who think they are owed something. But will I be in your green bin or your blue bin? I am the master of trickery, I will do my karate on you all, one after the other. Then I feast on your children with a rocket salad and a jumbo sized bag of Monster Munch.

and there i was thinking nat was the only fan of jumbo monster munch.



Very funny. Well done.

The nutjob final post is the winner! And looks like you have competition for your phrase of the moment "I am seething" with "I'm quite livid"

Anyway good work as always!

Hahaha quality. What a deluded bunch Wednesday fans are though, hope they get relegated.

3CardMarcus is boss.

...But will I be in your green bin or your blue bin? I am the master of trickery...

This is brilliant reporting. My favourite is -

But will I be in your green bin or your blue bin? I am the master of trickery, I will do my karate on you.

Nutjob? No way. Shakespeare himself never wrote anything better than that.

The last comment was the funniest thing i've read on a forum for a long time.

Good work Nat, very funny.

I feel skeptical about "Behing Enemy Lines".

The posts all have a suspiciously similar tone and really nail the cliches.

They are under the delusion that they are MASSIVE but really they're just naughty little piggies. Well done Nat, a masterpiece of undercover investigative journalism.

They only got promoted to the Championship last season and now they think they are a massive club ?

Some funny posts in there. NYCOWL sounds very brave.

I've read alsorts of holier-than-thou shit about Bolton and Gary Megson on Sheffield "Massive" Wednesday boards over the last 18 months.
Dave Jones got them promoted automatically against all the odds last season. Seven games into the season after, they're fed up and the booing has started. So they're not as classy as they like to believe. In fact I'd go as far as saying they represent a lot of what I hate in a football supporter with their "we've been shit for years but it doesn't matter because we still get big crowds" mentality.