Bonce's own personal thread. Volume IX

boltonbonce wrote:I was unfortunate enough to catch a portion of GB News this morning, and was horrified to discover that one time ITV stalwart Alastair Stewart appears to have morphed into a febrile Dame Hilda Bracket.
The station appears to be a sort of Poundland Fox News, with some extraordinary coves appearing on camera, including, believe it or not, Neil Hamilton.
I switched to Britbox and watched Worzle Gummidge. He'd lost his thinking head.
A situation not unknown within the Conservative Party.

i was flicking through the news channels and stumbled on GB News, KP's mate Nasty Nigel was interviewing the historian David Starkey, I presume it's the only place he's welcome these days.

Norpig wrote:
i was flicking through the news channels and stumbled on GB News, KP's mate Nasty Nigel was interviewing the historian David Starkey, I presume it's the only place he's welcome these days.

Same with Hamilton. Everything finds its level.

It's arrived, all shiny and new.

A season watching us win the league, should be fun!

A man has just walked past our house carrying a large rubber plant, with a balloon tied to it. I may investigate further.

Bloody Dutch Decoy won the seven o'clock race at Hamilton. I always back that bugger, and it's cost me over recent weeks.
So the sod wins tonight at 10/1 and I didn't even know it was running.
And I forgot to put my lottery on.
Still, chin up.

Well, it's hit the fan here. All because I bought my monkey a bowler hat. 
It's not a real monkey, but that's not the point. Apparently, not only do I not need a monkey in the first place, but said monkey is not in the least needful of any headgear.
I'm standing my ground on this. The monkey lives in my little den and causes no bother whatsoever, and if I want to buy him a bowler hat, I bloody well will.
I don't complain about the horrendous Victorian door stop with a teddy bears head, but nothing but a weighted sandbag under its dress. It's the stuff of nightmares.
A line must be drawn. 
It would appear I'm having a cheese sandwich for tea.

boltonbonce wrote:It would appear I'm having a cheese sandwich for tea.

This made me chuckle.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

This made me chuckle.

A request for a bit of tomato to liven it up was denied.

'Ask your friend for a banana' was the rather cruel retort. 

I'm fuming.

Don't know where to post this, so I'll pop it on here!

WHAT DID WE JUST WITNESS!?

One of the most bizarre sequences in soccer history, as this player celebrates a "goal" too early and kicks the ball into the sky BEFORE it fully crosses the line #FIFA22 | #FUT | #soccer pic.twitter.com/JdTrfaE0ss

— OneSoccer (@onesoccer) July 10, 2022

Valour v HFX (Halifax Wanderers) - Canadian Premier League.

I can see your logic. Massive cock up = Bonce.

Natasha Whittam wrote:I can see your logic. Massive cock up = Bonce.

When I've finished my cheese sandwich I'll consider a response to that wicked slur.
Anyway, it's hurtful. You know very well I attend the penile dysfunction clinic. And there aren't many ups.

I'm not sure I like this.


https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dafthead

boltonbonce wrote:I'm not sure I like this.


https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=dafthead

Nah nothing to do with folks called Dave.

My mother used it a lot but I think it was local usage only as when I started working in Leigh they used the phrase daft egg!

Same with flour cakes, they called them balm cakes.

It was like living in a foreign land at times!

Dafthead was also a rather revolting scarecrow rival of Worzel Gummidge. 

Maurice won't wear his hat. His loss.

My life as a Wanderer in a nutshell.