Who Is The Shittest Signing Of Recent Times?

There's little doubt we've signed some absolute bellends in recent seasons, basically every player signed under Coyle and Dougie would fit into this category but I've come up with what I consider the five worst:

Johan Elmander

We paid £8m+ for this donkey. Absolute shite on a good day, double shite every other day. Possibly the worst finisher ever witnessed in Bolton, I'd fancy Johnny to outscore this chump.

David Ngog

I can't remember how much Coyle paid for this skinny twat, but it was in the millions. This guy played with his shins not his feet. Terrible player, absolutely terrible. The word "ponce" was invented to describe Ngog.

Rob Hall

Bolton fans were wetting their big knickers when Bolton poached this bellend from West Ham. Turned out to be utterly shite, an Ali Dia for the 21st century. Just awful.

Liam Trotter

Fat, lazy and shit. Everyone knew it, but it didn't stop Dougie giving this tosser a 3 year contract. I've met harder jellyfish. The ultimate in lightweight ponces.

Marvin Sordell

This fucking bellend was homesick after a night in Bolton and it went downhill from there. The finishing skills of a pissed up donkey with cataracts. Absolute shit. Continued this fine form for Burnley when Dyche bought him as a joke.

I've voted for Ngog because of how much he cost, and that he hadn't even shown owt at Liverpool that he was worth signing for any fee, let alone £4 million.

Ngog for me too.

Purely because I was working in Liverpool when we signed him and I took sustained, personal abuse from a bunch of scousers for weeks over that one.

They actually all lined up and formed an honour guard just so they could all coordinate their laughing at me.

as Copper says £4 million for Ngog was daylight robbery so it has to be him

With a club our size and with our budget it's all about value for money. So it's between N'gog and Elmander for me (in terms of who offered least). 

I've gone for Elmander because I think it was a significant mistake which contributed to our demise, to replace a goalscorer like Anelka with a link up striker like Elmander was fucking dumb I said it at the time and since. Megson said he wasn't a goalscorer like Anelka, so why sign him you bellend? 

Shocking business.

Elmander cost more than twice what Ngog cost.

If we're taking cost into consideration, Elmander would have to be a hell of a lot better than Ngog to go down as a better (or less shit) signing. More than twice as good actually. He was certainly better, but not by a great deal.

bwfc1874 wrote:With a club our size and with our budget it's all about value for money. So it's between N'gog and Elmander for me (in terms of who offered least). 

I've gone for Elmander because I think it was a significant mistake which contributed to our demise, to replace a goalscorer like Anelka with a link up striker like Elmander was fucking dumb I said it at the time and since. Megson said he wasn't a goalscorer like Anelka, so why sign him you bellend? 

Shocking business.

This.

Sordell. 

Thanks owen!

Fuck me this is Difficult!!!!!!!

Could be any, spoiled for choice! Have to say 20 million on transfer fee and contract payments for Elmander sticks in the craw.

Hard to separate Ngog and Sordell for me. Sordell just about shades it though on account of being in an absolute prick.

Gary Megson. Everything else can be traced to him either directly or indirectly. Even Little Sammy Lee would have done less damage to this club in the long term than Megson did.

I voted N'Gog. Coming from starting games for Liverpool and costing 4 Million and getting so many games, he was truly shite. Sordell was almost a panic buy and didn't play nearly as much as N'Gog. Elmander was no world beater and cost a whole hell of a lot, but moments of absolute magic like that goal softens my view of him as a player. I still think Rob Hall can be value for money but not as a left winger. I believe he is better in the middle of the pitch and can be transitioned successfully into a striker. Trotter has such a suitable name and frame but is the biggest lightweight ponce I've ever seen on a pitch. N'Gog wins.

Natasha Whittam wrote:I'd fancy Johnny to outscore this chump.

Easily. I might not be able to run a lot but i can hit a ball. Plenty of weight to put behind it

Oh ive gone for sordell. Homesick wank stain

Sordell- embarrassingly bad

I voted Elmander, as he is the only one that is shitter than Ngog at finishing.

scottjames30 wrote:I voted Elmander, as he is the only one that is shitter than Ngog at finishing.

Yeah but his work rate

Elmander. Cost a small fortune and produced very little.

y2johnny wrote:  Homesick, wank, stain.

Is that a précis version of your night ahead in that hotel?