My shopping trip to asda

If i was your dad i'd wash your mouth out with soap.

Numpty 28723 wrote:I went to Asda today and bought one apple, one egg and one potato.

The girl on the checkout said: "I bet you live on your own, don't you."

"That's amazing, as a matter of fact I do", I said. "How did you know?"

"Cos you're so fucking ugly" she replied.

 and it is things like this that will make this the best thread on here, keep em coming

scottjames30 wrote:If i was your dad i'd wash your mouth out with soap.

if you was my dad i would put myself up for adoption

If i was your dad i'd move to Australia.

y2johnny wrote:

Boggersbelief wrote:Johnny, I'm absolutely starving but can't decide what to make. Any suggestions?

whats in the fridge boggers, lets go from there




somehow this has turned back into the agony uncle thread

Yeah, fuck you Nat

Bacon, eggs, grated cheese, lettuce, a yogurt, 3 apples, some ham, peppers, bottled water

This is not me.

http://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/news/11540330.Man_caught_on_CCTV_touching_himself_in_Asda_car_park/?ref=mr

scottjames30 wrote:If i was your dad i'd move to Australia.

if you was my dad id ring customs just before your flight landed and tell them you have shit loads of coke up your arse.

Boggersbelief wrote:

y2johnny wrote:

Boggersbelief wrote:Johnny, I'm absolutely starving but can't decide what to make. Any suggestions?

whats in the fridge boggers, lets go from there




somehow this has turned back into the agony uncle thread

Yeah, fuck you Nat

Bacon, eggs, grated cheese, lettuce, a yogurt, 3 apples, some ham, peppers, bottled water

bacon cheese and ham omelette, piece of piss.  yoghurt for after.

boltonbonce wrote:This is not me.

http://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/news/11540330.Man_caught_on_CCTV_touching_himself_in_Asda_car_park/?ref=mr

it's only NOT you because you HAVEN'T been caught yet!

I've never had that before. I'll let you know if I enjoyed it

Boggersbelief wrote:I've never had that before. I'll let you know if I enjoyed it

Make sure you do!!!  tip:  cook the bacon first then cut it up into peices.

y2johnny wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:This is not me.

http://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/news/11540330.Man_caught_on_CCTV_touching_himself_in_Asda_car_park/?ref=mr

it's only NOT you because you HAVEN'T been caught yet!

Anyway,what's wrong with touching yourself? Lot of fuss over nothing.

boltonbonce wrote:

y2johnny wrote:

boltonbonce wrote:This is not me.

http://www.wirralglobe.co.uk/news/11540330.Man_caught_on_CCTV_touching_himself_in_Asda_car_park/?ref=mr

it's only NOT you because you HAVEN'T been caught yet!

Anyway,what's wrong with touching yourself? Lot of fuss over nothing.

if your touching yourself your not touching anyone else, so it's a win win

I suppose banging the bishop is another matter entirely.

boltonbonce wrote:I suppose banging the bishop is another matter entirely.

you really shouldn't punch clergy men anyway bonce, but if thats your thing

I've just been in Tesco and there are signs up saying from October the 5th they will have to start charging 5p for carrier bags. How is this possible if you use the self service checkouts? and why have they replaced the womans voice with a mans voice?

boltonbonce wrote:

Breadman wrote:Cheers for this thread - it's just what I need, as I'm off to Asda shortly and it has given me a helpful insight into what to expect.

I don't actually need much so I'm struggling with the age old "basket or trolley" dilemma.

Any advice Johnny?

Why ASDA? Decent TESCO near you. Or are you banned?

To get in that Tesco you have to walk past the E-cig stall I destroyed recently so I'm steering clear for a while.

Barb Dwyer wrote:I've just been in Tesco and there are signs up saying from October the 5th they will have to start charging 5p for carrier bags. How is this possible if you use the self service checkouts? and why have they replaced the womans voice with a mans voice?

already doing it in wales, not sure how they will do it with the self service though

They will have to employ someone to hand out bags.

Barb Dwyer wrote:They will have to employ someone to hand out bags.

a bag lady................or a bag man!


just thought, if they had a head of bags he could be a bag head