My night with the lesbians

You know how sometimes, you agree to do something socially without really thinking about the ramifications properly?

I've backed myself into a bit of a corner and face the prospect of a night out in town which consists of the following group of people:

1 - largehat
2 - an in-your-face lesbian couple.

Yes, this merry group will be coming to a town centre near you very soon.

Am I wrong to be apprehensive about this situation? They are going to be holding hands and kissing and all loved up and dressed in a way which screams, "we love minge". They are very bolshy about being lesbian and want the world to know they are in love. I would never normally agree to go on a night out with a loved up heterosexual couple in this way, but I've dropped myself in it with the dykes.

I feel like a bit of a twat but whenever I go out in Bolton I unfailingly encounter at least 2 or 3 people I know and I am a bit worried about what they will think. Is there a male equivalent of a 'fag hag'? If so, I will look like one.

Do I just need to grow up and deal with the strangeness of the situation or should I make up a bullshit excuse for not going, potentially offending the lesbians, one of whom I have been friends with for a long time?

Can you get someone to take a photo of the three of you together, I reckon that could go on the site homepage.

If you're a masculine type who looks straight you might come out of this looking cool. If, as I suspect, you look a bit gay it will just be three girls on a night out.

Natasha, just trust me on this, I look straight.

I am friends with TheHateCamel on Facebook, I am sure he will confirm this.

largehat wrote:

Am I wrong to be apprehensive about this situation? They are going to be holding hands and kissing and all loved up and dressed in a way which screams, "we love minge".

i think you're worrying over nothing. if they're all over each other people will just think you're a friend.

This could be the night of your life. Two chicks and one dick.

3 pussys and 1 dick more like.

Worry not, I've consulted the Random Paragraph Generator on you behalf and the verdict is:

How will Largehat pain a sister goldfish? The bottle wises Largehat after the head insect. The lesbians doses the teacher around the compound organ. Why won't the bug frown? A registered boat exports the lesbians outside the nearest cave. The lesbians heaps another medium behind the circumstance.

Thanks, Numpty. I am guessing 'The bottle wises largehat after the head insect' means there's a bottle of tequila with a worm involved in the night out. I'm not too sure we will encounter a teacher wanting a dose of anything from the lesbians, but who knows.

How do you know these lesbians?

I went to school with one of them and stayed in touch over the years.

largehat wrote:I went to school with one of them and stayed in touch over the years.

But this is the first time you've been out with her in nearly 20 years?

largehat wrote:Do I just need to grow up and deal with the strangeness of the situation or should I make up a bullshit excuse for not going, potentially offending the lesbians, one of whom I have been friends with for a long time?

I'd definitely go, lesbians tend to attract other women so your chances of scoring are greatly increased.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

largehat wrote:I went to school with one of them and stayed in touch over the years.

But this is the first time you've been out with her in nearly 20 years?

No we've been out a few times over the years. She has considered herself to be bisexual for most of that time, but has largely stuck to men, only having one previous lesbian relationship about 5 years ago. Just recently, she has entered into a relationship with another woman and they are all loved up.

I was at her flat last night and she'd mentioned earlier that her partner was going to be around for a particular few days. later in the evening I suggested a night out which falls in that period, without thinking about the fact I was effectively inviting her to bring her partner, who I haven't met, but has a shaved head, and is apparently awesome at karate.

largehat wrote:
I was at her flat last night and she'd mentioned earlier that her partner was going to be around for a particular few days. later in the evening I suggested a night out which falls in that period, without thinking about the fact I was effectively inviting her to bring her partner, who I haven't met, but has a shaved head, and is apparently awesome at karate.

Is your friend hot? You usually find one pretty and one ugly lesbian in a relationship.

largehat wrote:Thanks, Numpty. I am guessing 'The bottle wises largehat after the head insect' means there's a bottle of tequila with a worm involved in the night out. I'm not too sure we will encounter a teacher wanting a dose of anything from the lesbians, but who knows.

Numpty 28723 wrote:
A registered boat exports the lesbians outside the nearest cave.

This is your getout if things go wrong.

Natasha Whittam wrote:
Is your friend hot? You usually find one pretty and one ugly lesbian in a relationship.

I wouldn't say she is hot, although she has a ridiculously large bosom. She's certainly the feminine one though.

largehat wrote:
I wouldn't say she is hot, although she has a ridiculously large bosom. She's certainly the feminine one though.

Have you slept with her?

Natasha Whittam wrote:
Have you slept with her?

You'll be wanting my PIN number next.

largehat wrote:

You'll be wanting my PIN number next.

I'm simply trying to ascertain any underlying feelings you have for her.

Natasha Whittam wrote:
I'm simply trying to ascertain any underlying feelings you have for her.

She's a friend, Natasha. It's not a bizarre love triangle.