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Bolton Nuts » BWFC » Wandering Minds » The Poetry Thread

The Poetry Thread

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1The Poetry Thread Empty The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 13:54

Bwfc1958

Bwfc1958
Tinned Toms - You know it makes sense!
I'm starting this thread on behalf of our resident poetry expert, Norpig.

Norpig doesn't think a poetry thread would take off on nuts. Partly because it's quite boring and partly because he thinks your all thick as fuck. I know this, he told me, didn't you Norpig?

Anyway, I think he's wrong.

This should probably be made a sticky, as this will be the biggest thing since the extremely popular dinner thread.

Go on, show Norpig this site has loads of intellectual types. Post your best, most favourite poems here.

No poems about a man from Nantucket please bonce. This is a serious thread ok.

Cue loads of poems about Nat written by Y2j......

2The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 14:08

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin
Mary had an iron cow.
She milked it with a spanner.
The milk came out in shilling tins.
And little ones a tanner.

3The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 14:16

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Mary, Mary quite contrary how does your garden grow?
I live in a flat you silly twat so how the fuck should I know!

4The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 14:22

okocha

okocha
El Hadji Diouf
El Hadji Diouf
But seriously......


HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams. 

W.B. Yeats (1865–1939)

5The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 14:25

Guest


Guest
If you're a Bolton Wanderers fan,
I know the site for you,
Called "Bolton Nuts", it's full of fun
and idiots like Magoo.

There's Boncey with his Brucey thread,
and Biggie with his puns,
But Whittam's chest is not the best,
she's got lop-sided buns.

Karly does the radio,
we all tune in each week,
(that's when he's not round Bargain Booze-
the dirty little freak! Very Happy )

So come on all you Nutters!
Come and join the throng,
Speak your mind and have a laugh,
even if you're wrong!

6The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 14:27

karlypants

karlypants
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Breadman wrote:If you're a Bolton Wanderers fan,
I know the site for you,
Called "Bolton Nuts", it's full of fun
and idiots like Magoo.

There's Boncey with his Brucey thread,
and Biggie with his puns,
But Whittam's chest is not the best,
she's got lop-sided buns.

Karly does the radio,
we all tune in each week,
(that's when he's not round Bargain Booze-
the dirty little freak! Very Happy  )

So come on all you Nutters!
Come and join the throng,
Speak your mind and have a laugh,
even if you're wrong!

lol! Pretty good that Breadders! :clap:

7The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 14:30

Sluffy

Sluffy
Admin
Very good Bread!

:mixpoints:

8The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 14:30

boltonbonce

boltonbonce
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Nice one Bread. Get it set to music. Very Happy

9The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 16:45

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
@Bwfc1958 wrote:I'm starting this thread on behalf of our resident poetry expert, Norpig.

Norpig doesn't think a poetry thread would take off on nuts. Partly because it's quite boring and partly because he thinks your all thick as fuck. I know this, he told me, didn't you Norpig?

Anyway, I think he's wrong.

This should probably be made a sticky, as this will be the biggest thing since the extremely popular dinner thread.

Go on, show Norpig this site has loads of intellectual types. Post your best, most favourite poems here.

No poems about a man from Nantucket please bonce. This is a serious thread ok.

Cue loads of poems about Nat written by Y2j......


i never said any of those things about my fellow nutters honestly  Very Happy. To be honest the only poetry i do know is John Cooper Clarke

10The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 16:51

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
heard this last night, he was supporting John Cooper Clarke, well worth a listen in all seriousness

11The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 17:06

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
and one specially for our resident Burnley fan

12The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 17:09

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
Darkness.
Despair.
Pain, everywhere.
I feel it in my heart.
I feel it in my joints.
In the last minute, again -
We threw away the points.

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

13The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 17:10

Norpig

Norpig
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
and last one honest, my favourite

14The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 17:14

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
There once was a man from Horwich,
Who stuck his **** in some porridge.
When asked what he'd done,
He said 'twas in fun - 
And better than going to Norwich!

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

15The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 17:41

scottjames30

scottjames30
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
It was someone thinking they are Vincent Tan.
They gave me a lifetime ban.
Arguing with bread, you know I was right.
But I didn't give up the fight,
I Emailed Sluffy and Nuts,
I said sorry, it took guts.
Bread said NO, I was like a fucking yo yo.
What should I do, I'll come back as jussi22.
But they knew it was me, it was easy you see.
I need a partner in crime, I was mad,
I know I'll get angry dad.
So me and him , tag team-in,
without us the place was grim.
But now we're both back, having the crack,
lets not go back down that beaten track.
I'm off now for me tea,
see you soon, take it easy.

16The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 17:46

Guest


Guest
@scottjames30 wrote:It was someone thinking they are Vincent Tan.
They gave me a lifetime ban.
Arguing with bread, you know I was right.
But I didn't give up the fight,
I Emailed Sluffy and Nuts,
I said sorry, it took guts.
Bread said NO, I was like a fucking yo yo.
What should I do, I'll come back as jussi22.
But they knew it was me, it was easy you see.
I need a partner in crime, I was mad,
I know I'll get angry dad.
So me and him , tag team-in,
without us the place was grim.
But now we're both back, having the crack,
lets not go back down that beaten track.
I'm off now for me tea,
see you soon, take it easy.
Worst poem ever  Shocked

17The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 17:57

Guest


Guest
It's very, er......urban, isn't it?

I think Scott draws quite heavily from The Kersal Massive for inspiration:

18The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 17:58

scottjames30

scottjames30
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Very Happy

19The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 18:05

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
And I thought my Horwich limerick was bad!

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

20The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 18:06

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
If We Must Die
By Claude McKay

If we must die, let it not be like hogs
Hunted and penned in an inglorious spot,
While round us bark the mad and hungry dogs,
Making their mock at our accursèd lot.
If we must die, O let us nobly die,
So that our precious blood may not be shed
In vain; then even the monsters we defy
Shall be constrained to honor us though dead!
O kinsmen! we must meet the common foe!
Though far outnumbered let us show us brave,
And for their thousand blows deal one death-blow!
What though before us lies the open grave?
Like men we’ll face the murderous, cowardly pack,
Pressed to the wall, dying, but fighting back!

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

21The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 18:30

Guest


Guest


What is it?
It’s bow’s orange sunset spring,
That quick step groove down the Grove Road,
It’s the blue smoke glamour of crack slab urban bohemia,
The richest man alive doesn't have a penny,
And I’m looking to cash in on his wisdom,
Looking out for the wise in his eyes and the ice in his next drink,
And his next drink,
And his next drink,
And his next drink,
I watch the world, its tower blocks headbutting the skyline,
So stitch that,
That slit in the sky like a knife gash, and a fallen sixties leather jacket,
The tenements so unlovely and kitsch,
And the people rolling on in our colours and classes, classes and colours,
The beats of New London,
Twisted by the bitter rhythm of the wrong education,
In the big schools,
On the bigger grey gothic, pink plastic flower estates,
Twizzling our biros and cashing our giros,
And it’s tupence for your philosophy,
And tupence for your dreams,
Fair ye unwell on the welfare,
And the state is a fair man-made maid,
It understands the sweet sickly pleasure of melancholy,
The malign happiness of the horrors,
Lick die happiness of the horrors,
Delights in the mystery of it’s own misery,
A modern love,
So here we are,
The fucked generation,
At the fag-end of the 20th century A.D.,
Young and still breathing,
But now it’s a trial,
Cause we tried it all and we’re tired by it all,
Too much, too young, too often, too many times,
And it’s too late,
But we’re not surrendering though,
Fuck no we’re not,
We’re on the offensive,
On all fours in the puddles of No Man’s Land,
And in that manner we move to the rhythms of ice cream vans playing ‘oranges and lemons’,
And police sirens spinning and waking their mythical wails,
Calling us to ourselves,
Opium for the elite,
Yeah, and there’s his illegitimate brother,
Inexpensively smacking the kids of Stepney, at a cost,
So let’s step out now, you and I,
Let’s go now and stay a while,
Underneath the sun,
A council street lamp left on in the middle of the day,
Tussling with gravity, branding skin,
And it will tussle and brand, tussle and brand until it explodes.
Tussle and brand until the sun explodes.

22The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 21:56

Reebok Trotter

Reebok Trotter
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
"Here is the church and here is the steeple. Open it up and here are the people!" Jake McHale.

23The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 22:23

Guest


Guest
Dear Mother, dear Mother, the Church is cold,

But the Ale-house is healthy & pleasant & warm;

Besides I can tell where I am use'd well,

Such usage in heaven will never do well.


   But if at the Church they would give us some Ale. 

And a pleasant fire, our souls to regale; 

We'd sing and we'd pray, all the live-long day; 

Nor ever once wish from the Church to stray, 


   Then the Parson might preach & drink & sing. 

And we'd be as happy as birds in the spring: 

And modest dame Lurch, who is always at Church,

Would not have bandy children nor fasting nor birch.


   And God like a father rejoicing to see, 

His children as pleasant and happy as he: 

Would have no more quarrel with the Devil or the Barrel 

But kiss him & give him both drink and apparel.

24The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 22:30

Guest


Guest
It was my nan that for me into poetry and this was her favourite;

I wandered lonely as a cloud 
That floats on high o'er vales and hills, 
When all at once I saw a crowd, 
A host, of golden daffodils; 
Beside the lake, beneath the trees, 
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze. 

Continuous as the stars that shine 
And twinkle on the milky way, 
They stretched in never-ending line 
Along the margin of a bay: 
Ten thousand saw I at a glance, 
Tossing their heads in sprightly dance. 

The waves beside them danced; but they 
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee: 
A poet could not but be gay, 
In such a jocund company: 
I gazed---and gazed---but little thought 
What wealth the show to me had brought: 

For oft, when on my couch I lie 
In vacant or in pensive mood, 
They flash upon that inward eye 
Which is the bliss of solitude; 
And then my heart with pleasure fills, 
And dances with the daffodils.

25The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 23:08

Mr Magoo

Mr Magoo
Youri Djorkaeff
Youri Djorkaeff
There was a man called Bread
who cried when he went to bed
when he woke in the morn with a big fat yawn
Scott had pissed in his bed.

26The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Sun Mar 22 2015, 23:12

Guest


Guest
@Mr Magoo wrote:There was a man called Bread
who cried when he went to bed
when he woke in the morn with a big fat yawn
Scott had pissed all over his head.

Just trying to help. Rhyming bed with bed is amateur hour Wink

27The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Mon Mar 23 2015, 00:12

Banks of the Croal

Banks of the Croal
Frank Worthington
Frank Worthington
Life is such a precious Gift,
Until you need a Stairlift,
Then you wonder was it worth it,
All the pain and misery to survive it,

Of course it was, the Sunny days of Youth,
When you wasn't so long in the Tooth,
Endless days of playing in the Sun,
Laughing and Crying it was so much Fun,

You saw the Better side way back then,
Being able to play out till half past ten,
The Streets were Safer so they Say.
No Mister Bogey Man,
To go and Spoil our Joyous Plan.

28The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Mon Mar 23 2015, 06:49

scottjames30

scottjames30
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
Mine is best.

29The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Mon Mar 23 2015, 08:20

Keegan

Keegan
Moderator
Moderator
I eat my peas with honey.
I've done it all my life.
It makes the peas taste funny
But it keeps them on the knife.

https://forum.boltonnuts.co.uk

30The Poetry Thread Empty Re: The Poetry Thread Mon Mar 23 2015, 08:26

scottjames30

scottjames30
Nat Lofthouse
Nat Lofthouse
When im having a shit.
I think for a bit.
about bread for some reason.
its been another long season.
and when im wiping my arse.
i think what a farce.
we've been conned once more.
i might as well just shit on the floor.

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