poetry corner

the season is falling flat on it's face
and it turns out we are looking quite shite
will dougie persist with the same old plan
Will anyone (please) buy Zat Knight

Can juke turn out to be a goal machine
can holden be healed with some voodoo
can we make a meteoric rise up the league
or are we too much in the doo doo

a make shift defence week in and week out
looks more patched up than frankenstein's bride
maybe try some different positions
like eagles through the centre instead of out wide

all said and done we are but onlookers
there's really not that much we can do
so get behind the team, if not the manager
with just  the occasional BOO!

Nuts own version of John Cooper Clarke  

Cheers Norpig, all welcome to pen something, the ruder and cruder the better i reckon!

Kristen Stewart released a poem recently. 

"I reared digital moonlight/
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black/
Kismetly ... ubiquitously crest fallen/
Thrown down to strafe your foothills/
...I'll suck the bones pretty.
 
Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps/
Spray painted everything known to man/
Stream rushed through and all out into/
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck/
Through our windows boarded up/
He hit your flint face and it sparked.
 
And I bellowed and you parked/
We reached Marfa/
One honest day up on this freedom pole/
Devils not done digging/
He's speaking in tongues all along the pan handle/
And this pining erosion is getting dust in/
 
My eyes/
And I'm drunk on your morsels/
And so I look down the line/
Your every twitch hand drum salute/
Salutes mine."

Multi talented girl. 

Hipster_Nebula wrote:Kristen Stewart released a poem recently. 

"I reared digital moonlight/
You read its clock, scrawled neon across that black/
Kismetly ... ubiquitously crest fallen/
Thrown down to strafe your foothills/
...I'll suck the bones pretty.
 
Your nature perforated the abrasive organ pumps/
Spray painted everything known to man/
Stream rushed through and all out into/
Something Whilst the crackling stare down sun snuck/
Through our windows boarded up/
He hit your flint face and it sparked.
 
And I bellowed and you parked/
We reached Marfa/
One honest day up on this freedom pole/
Devils not done digging/
He's speaking in tongues all along the pan handle/
And this pining erosion is getting dust in/
 
My eyes/
And I'm drunk on your morsels/
And so I look down the line/
Your every twitch hand drum salute/
Salutes mine."

Multi talented girl. 

  

Is it about shagging?

And back to Johnny's effort - Like Norpig said, it's got a real John Cooper Clarke feel to it.

(But with less swearing. And chickens....)

Top work that man.
 

I kissed her lips
And then,
out of meanness -
She reached out
And broke
my glasses.

Wanderers under Dougie have become so boring
The football on offer leaves me snoring
I’ve had more fun giving Magoo fellatio
Than witnessing your appalling win ratio

We have no heart or fight
What do you expect when the captain’s Zat Knight
Whose turn is it to be “not match fit”?
Dougie you really are a fucking tit

He’ll go to Millwall and park the bus
What an absolute fucking wuss
No doubt it’ll be just one up top
I hope the fucker gets the chop

We all know it’ll be a defensive collapse
And more chance of Bolton scoring through my pissflaps
We live in hope that Freedman will quit
But we all know he enjoys this shit

He sent Craig Davies out on loan
Soon we’ll be in the relegation zone
His negative tactics make me sick
Someone should remove this talentless prick

He’ll be on his way soon enough
Or I’m not Natasha with the singed muff
How long can he get away with this cack
Before Gartside mans up and gives him the sack

Matt Mills is a fat useless cunt
All he can do is the aimless punt
Darren Pratley is absolutely dire
Someone should set the skinny twat on fire

Chris Eagles you poncy dyke
You look like a 12 year old on hunger strike
Moritz you worthless fat slob
You must be giving Freedman a sly handjob

I wish someone would send Mark Davies to China
He plays like a fucking diseased vagina
And Baptiste can fuck off too
We can replace him with a pile of poo

And Beckford you useless plank
Your finishing is embarrassingly wank
Chung Lee I’m sick and tired of your nonchalance
Fucking learn to cross you incompetent ponce

Dougie you really are a stubborn arsehole
I live for the day when you’re on the dole
But Gartside we don’t want any more jocks
They’re just a bunch of useless cocks

Dougie’s team leaves me seething
This tosser deserves a damn good beating
We need to see Bolton on the mend
We need to sack the fucking bellend!

In the cheap seats where murder breeds
Somebody is out of breath
Sleep is a luxury they don't need
- a sneak preview of death
Belladonna is your flower
Manslaughter is your Radium
Spend a year in a couple of hours
At a game in the Reebok Stadium

I thought you'd died Numpty. I almost sent flowers.

Gartside ,we know that you're scared of Doug
Rumour has it you call him the Bolton thug.
I know you might think its funny
But the twat steals your dinner money

Now, you might be a Knob
But for christ sake do your job
Sack this fool he's  taking the piss
Before we get the relegation kiss

Don't be scared man up you tool
Everyone thinks that you're the fool
Big Mick's the man I've told you before
Get that Freedman out the door

Act now before we go down
Be rid of that Scottish clown
Then think to yourself about calling it a day
You'd be long gone if i had my way

Natasha Whittam wrote:I thought you'd died Numpty. I almost sent flowers.

Fantastic to see you post again after so long Numpts.

Hope you are well and that you decide to stick around a bit.

Like the poem btw - reminds me of the line -

"The coldest winter I ever spent was a summer in San Francisco.”

Keegan wrote:I kissed her lips
And then,
out of meanness -
She reached out
And broke
my glasses.

Ha Ha   Did you get that poem from Magoo?

Numpty 28723 wrote:In the cheap seats where murder breeds
Somebody is out of breath
Sleep is a luxury they don't need
- a sneak preview of death
Belladonna is your flower
Manslaughter is your Radium
Spend a year in a couple of hours
At a game in the Reebok Stadium

Good to see you back again.

Sir Francis Bacon was not a Jamaican.
It's his only link with Elizabeth Frink.

Radi was a circus lion,
Radi was a woman hater,
Radi had a lady trainer,

Radiator.

It's hard to be a Bolton fan
For me as a Jamaican -
They're plummeting down the table
Just as fast as only they can.

The football that's on offer
If I may call it that,
Is such a steamy pile of shit,
I'm mad for coming back!

The manager of our erstwhile team
Has not a fcuking clue
The players run like headless chickens
Not knowing what to do!

Our number one goalkeeper
Is clearly young Bogdan
Until he makes a mistake
Then we're back to Lonergan!

I don't believe a word that comes
Out of young Dougie's mouth
And I can't wait to see the headlines -
Doug and Gartside out!

printed off, put in a plain brown envelope and left on the reception for one of the lads at work.  he's not found it yet!  took me the whole of two minutes!

Natasha Whittam wrote:I thought you'd died Numpty. I almost sent flowers.

As it happens, I came quite close to death - I was kidnapped by an extremist group, imprisoned and used as a domestic servant/sex slave at an anti-fracking camp close to Barton Airport. The only contact with civilisation I was allowed was listening to the Bolton Wanderers match each week on the radio - they were merciless people! Their leader was a big bearded brute known as the Hairy Branflake.

A programme of rehabilitation is currently underway but I must say you almost sending flowers is almost touching.