Bonce's own personal thread. Volume IX

boltonbonce wrote:Just been round to put a clothes airer together for mum. Twenty minutes it should take, according to the instructions.
Two bloody hours later, I'd finished it. I've had to lie down for an hour.
Self assembly my arse.

Never mind that - we're all on the edge of our seats waiting for the next instalment of Shirtgate.

Did you press them for an answer?
Did they respond or button it?
Did you collar the culprits?
Was it ironed out in the end?

wanderlust wrote:
Never mind that - we're all on the edge of our seats waiting for the next instalment of Shirtgate.

Did you press them for an answer?
Did they respond or button it?
Did you collar the culprits?
Was it ironed out in the end?

Well. They've agreed to resend my order. Unfortunately, they've run out of medium away shirts, so the lad will have to have the large. The bugger can grow into it.
I'm a bit concerned that they'll use DHL again, so I'm not counting my chickens.
I'll update further if, or when, they arrive.

Bonce out.

boltonbonce wrote:

karlypants wrote:
Did you bother to look at the instructions?

Yes.

Crikey! A lot going on there just for a clothes dryer.

That's just page 1.

Anyone remember Eno's?
It was a sort of antacid, rather like Andrews liver salts. Can you still get it?
Our bathroom cabinet used to be filled with this sort of stuff.

Andrews, Alka Seltzer, Calamine lotion, Optrex, Ex-Lax, Nasal spray, Earex, Valderma, Germoloids, and various other less well known items.
Was this normal for you, or did my dad have a few issues?

Why was Nat at number 10?

Could be they are your missing shirts?

boltonbonce wrote:That's just page 1.

Pretty sure that's page 3 on account of it saying "page 3".

TBF I've seen more straightforward images on Page 3 before now and they were all pre-screwed.

wanderlust wrote:
Pretty sure that's page 3 on account of it saying "page 3".

TBF I've seen more straightforward images on Page 3 before now and they were all pre-screwed.

Page 3?

I knew something was up. Maybe that's why it took so long.

boltonbonce wrote:Anyone remember Eno's?
It was a sort of antacid, rather like Andrews liver salts. Can you still get it?
Our bathroom cabinet used to be filled with this sort of stuff.

Andrews, Alka Seltzer, Calamine lotion, Optrex, Ex-Lax, Nasal spray, Earex, Valderma, Germoloids, and various other less well known items.
Was this normal for you, or did my dad have a few issues?

All the above.
My nan also had Potter's Asthma Remedy even though she didn't have asthma. I later discovered Potter's was a hallucinogen which explains plenty as she was lovely but bonkers.

wanderlust wrote:
All the above.
My nan also had Potter's Asthma Remedy even though she didn't have asthma. I later discovered Potter's was a hallucinogen which explains plenty as she was lovely but bonkers.

I also remember Vicks VapoRub, and powdered toothpaste, which I hated.

A tin of Germolene, lint, cotton wool, gauze, a roll of bandage and small pair of scissors, a box of plasters and a tube of golden eye ointment for when you got a powk (as I knew them for those who don't know that word it is more commonly known as a stye).  Also my fathers cut throat razor and a tub of Vic to rub on your chest just before bedtime if you had a cold.

As well there was a bottle of Dettol on the bathroom windowsill that had a dual use as something to dab on cuts and grazes (it didn't half sting!) AND poured into the bath on bath night (a real man's smell, eh!).

Also a shaving mirror and my brothers brush and comb set (do any blokes use a brush on their hair these days) and his tub of Brylcreem (do anyone still use that either?).  

Finally everyone's tooth brushes in a toothbrush holder and Euthymol tooth paste because booth my parents smoked.

And to top it all off a block of Fairy Soap,

That was a time when men were real men!

Not heard the word 'powk' for a long time, Sluffy. We used to suffer from them regularly, but they seemed to disappear on their own.
Never heard of nut allergies back then either, unless they just weren't recognised.
As for Dettol, we used to put a capful or three in our bathwater. What a brilliant smell. Takes me back in time in an instant.
Fairy soap mum always kept under the sink. She used it on our filthy shirt collars.
Brylcream was dad's luxury. He was virtually bald, but insisted that what he had he'd treat well. Became something of a family joke.
That being said, he had a fine head of skin.
Funny how many memories some items trigger.

I was thinking when I was writing about powk's that I've never known anyone to have suffered from them for years and years now - I wonder if they were somehow connected to the smokey environment we used to live in back then???

Fairy soap was used for everything back then in my home, from washing your hands, having a bath or  rubbing on shirt collars before washing - we had a boiler a dolly tub and a mangle in the kitchen but I don't remember mam using them really but I do remember when she got her very first washing machine and those wooden washing tong she had to use to get the clothes of of the machine!

Something like these...



Happy days but they must have been damned hard for people back then!

Oh my god! Mum had the same tongs. 
Before she made the leap to a washing machine she had a boiler. It had a little tap on the side and got seriously hot when it was going.
She'd use the tongs to get the washing out and into the sink, ready to be put through the mangle. My mangle turning skills were much in demand.
She later progressed to a twin tub, but the mangle still got plenty of use. My brother and I used to put our sandwiches through it. No idea why.

Yes I suspect the tongs were used on our clothes boiler before my mam got her first washing machine.

We weren't rich enough for fancy twin tubs!

I had forgotten though that we did have a spinning machine that stood alone from the washing machine and we had to put the washing up bowl down at the back of the spinner to collect the water from the spout at the back.

The clothes all were hung out to try in the back yard and bed sheets on the lines of the back to back row of houses we lived in.

Monday was always washing day - used to take my mam the best part of the day too I guess although I was to busy being a child and playing out to notice much.

God bless her, and dad too!

Sluffy wrote:Yes I suspect the tongs were used on our clothes boiler before my mam got her first washing machine.

We weren't rich enough for fancy twin tubs!

I had forgotten though that we did have a spinning machine that stood alone from the washing machine and we had to put the washing up bowl down at the back of the spinner to collect the water from the spout at the back.

The clothes all were hung out to try in the back yard and bed sheets on the lines of the back to back row of houses we lived in.

Monday was always washing day - used to take my mam the best part of the day too I guess although I was to busy being a child and playing out to notice much.

God bless her, and dad too!

I've been passing this picture around today.


Basically, because it's my mum. Mum isn't the Queen you understand, but she's her double. She's even dressed like mum in this picture. It's scary. Maybe mum could make a few bob as a stunt double.
Makes me laugh though. It's an uncanny resemblance.

Why are they bringing this up again?

https://www.theboltonnews.co.uk/sport/21023372.ex-bolton-wanderers-boss-colin-todds-memories-reebok-stadiums-first-night/

If they start talking about you know who, I won't be responsible for my actions.

Speaking of tongs, mum used to stir the washing with what she called a ponce. Not sure you can say that now.

boltonbonce wrote:Speaking of tongs, mum used to stir the washing with what she called a ponce. Not sure you can say that now.

Funny word "ponce".

In English it originally meant a pimp.
Pimps dressed in flamboyant clothes so via that route it developed connotations with homosexuals - which pimps seldom were.
Pimps also leeched off hookers and via that route it developed connotations of getting something for free e.g. poncing a fag off someone.

It's also a city in Puerto Rico.