Bonce's own personal thread. Volume X

My grandparents had two toilets, one of them outside, and it was my worst nightmare. Like you, I had to use newspaper squares, which was far from ideal. They reserved the Izal for indoors.

Our very first telly used an indoor aerial, another nightmare piece of kit.

boltonbonce wrote:My grandparents had two toilets, one of them outside, and it was my worst nightmare. Like you, I had to use newspaper squares, which was far from ideal. They reserved the Izal for indoors.

Our very first telly used an indoor aerial, another nightmare piece of kit.

Can you imagine Nat having to use newspaper squares?

boltonbonce wrote:My grandparents had two toilets, one of them outside, and it was my worst nightmare. Like you, I had to use newspaper squares, which was far from ideal. They reserved the Izal for indoors.

Our very first telly used an indoor aerial, another nightmare piece of kit.

A telly and two toilets! Family Bonce must 'ave been like royalty in Farnworth.

What did they call you, Two Bogs Bonce?

Ten Bobsworth wrote:

A telly and two toilets! Family Bonce must 'ave been like royalty in Farnworth.

What did they call you, Two Bogs Bonce?

My grandparents lived in Salford, so it was only a weekend horror for me. Staying over was great though, if you took the outdoor toilet out of the equation.
They also had a fireplace in every bedroom, although they were never lit. In one of the back rooms there was a servants bell. No servants though, sadly.
A deep, dark cellar was another draw for a curious six year old, but gran warned me that if I went down there too often, Spring Heeled Jack would come and steal me away.
She used Jack to scare me into obedience. He apparently came out at night, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, clearly up to no good.
She made up for it by collecting threepenny bits in an Eno's liver salts tin, which, when full, paid for a few Matchbox cars, with a bit left over for some comics. 'Tin Full' day was always a gala occasion.

boltonbonce wrote:
My grandparents lived in Salford, so it was only a weekend horror for me. Staying over was great though, if you took the outdoor toilet out of the equation.
They also had a fireplace in every bedroom, although they were never lit. In one of the back rooms there was a servants bell. No servants though, sadly.
A deep, dark cellar was another draw for a curious six year old, but gran warned me that if I went down there too often, Spring Heeled Jack would come and steal me away.
She used Jack to scare me into obedience. He apparently came out at night, jumping from rooftop to rooftop, clearly up to no good.
She made up for it by collecting threepenny bits in an Eno's liver salts tin, which, when full, paid for a few Matchbox cars, with a bit left over for some comics. 'Tin Full' day was always a gala occasion.

Fireplace in every room eh! A bit like Harry and Will’s granny.

When can we expect your memoirs?

Ten Bobsworth wrote:
Fireplace in every room eh! A bit like Harry and Will’s granny.

When can we expect your memoirs?

When the cops return my computers.

Ten Bobsworth wrote:
Fireplace in every room eh! A bit like Harry and Will’s granny.

When can we expect your memoirs?

Here's me in their back garden with my first car. Bright red it was. Even then I exuded an almost animal like sensuality.
Or I'd crapped my pants again.

Not posted much over the weekend due to a hectic schedule. 
I've had more than the usual number of police lineups over this period, one of which required me to wear nothing but a pair of trunks and black stockings and suspenders. I acquiesced, even though it wasn't Thursday.
You'd have thought the cops would at least have given me a lift home! Public transport here isn't the best.
Mind you, an old man did offer to take me to the pictures. Didn't go. It was one of those foreign subtitled jobs. I don't like that sort of thing.

boltonbonce wrote:Not posted much over the weekend due to a hectic schedule. 
I've had more than the usual number of police lineups over this period, one of which required me to wear nothing but a pair of trunks and black stockings and suspenders. I acquiesced, even though it wasn't Thursday.
You'd have thought the cops would at least have given me a lift home! Public transport here isn't the best.
Mind you, an old man did offer to take me to the pictures. Didn't go. It was one of those foreign subtitled jobs. I don't like that sort of thing.

Was there a crime committed at the Rocky Horror musical (other than the whole thing being criminal)?

Norpig wrote:
Was there a crime committed at the Rocky Horror musical (other than the whole thing being criminal)?

I don't ask questions. Everything went well, despite an anonymous letter with a Preston postmark accusing me of all manner of crimes.

boltonbonce wrote:Not posted much over the weekend due to a hectic schedule. 
I've had more than the usual number of police lineups over this period, one of which required me to wear nothing but a pair of trunks and black stockings and suspenders. I acquiesced, even though it wasn't Thursday.
You'd have thought the cops would at least have given me a lift home! Public transport here isn't the best.
Mind you, an old man did offer to take me to the pictures. Didn't go. It was one of those foreign subtitled jobs. I don't like that sort of thing.

Ha ha....one of your best! You should be on the stage. Ideal time to tread the boards now that Brucie has left a yawning gap.....

Sad news today.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-64339747

boltonbonce wrote:Sad news today.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-64339747

I was that and thought of you. I used to love the Beano as a kid and the Bash St Kids were one of my favourites.

boltonbonce wrote:Sad news today.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-64339747

Very sad, Boncey, but he had a good innings and a lot of laughs.

 Sad that he was nearly 90 before he was honoured. How long did ‘guest editor of the Beano’ Rashford M have to wait? If you didn’t laugh, you’d weep.

Cajunboy wrote:Hacker Des Places has been declared to run in the following race:

Sunday 22 January
2.30pm Lingfield (Sky Sports) - Sovereign Handicap Hurdle (Class 2) 2m

Please note that the race time has changed since the race was rescheduled from the cancelled Friday meeting. 

In view of the ongoing cold weather, the track is being covered with protective sheets, but a course inspection is still expected ahead of Sunday's meeting. The time of the inspection is yet to be confirmed - details should follow in due course. 

There are 11 declared runners. Angus Cheleda, who claims 5lb, is booked to ride Hacker Des Places. Further information about this runner will follow in due course. 




Should be a decent price for an each-way bet.


Famous last words.

6/1 with Bet365. Probably worth an each way bet.

Love this guy.

Vic is still ticked off.

It's pretty nippy here. I've put a big jumper on.

I'll update you if the situation changes.