Bonce's own personal thread. Volume V

I'm liking the penguin.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-39308622

boltonbonce wrote:No wonder the customers have left.

That's one hot dog to avoid.

I'll be leaving for the match at around 12.45,and on the way I intend to come up with a cunning plan to avoid the bloke selling Golden Gamble tickets at the top of the steps in the WSU.
He clocks me as soon as I hit the top step. I look quickly away so as to avoid any eye contact,but he knows I've seen him. He remains calm.
I wander over to the TV screen to watch anything that might be on,glancing furtively over my shoulder every few minutes to see if he's been distracted.
I can feel his eyes burning into my back.
I make the decision to get to my seat pronto,but wait for some other daft bastard to buy a ticket so I can nip past unmolested.
They never do.
He looks across at me,then looks away. I make my way towards him,pretending I'm on the phone,but it's no good. He extends his hand expectantly,like Nat at a glory hole,and I fumble about for a quid,and walk despondently to my seat,knowing full well that the fourth prize of a Hollands Pie hamper is as much a dream as it's ever been.

I'll win one day. I know it.

He got me again. He doesn't even shout 'Golden Gamble',he just stands there......waiting.
Ticket No. 0512. Don't think it won. 
Wish the mad bastard with the mike commentating on the half time 'entertainment' would shut the fcuk up. How excited do you need to get about four people poncing about in bubbles.

Went for a pee at half time on Saturday and was,once again,deeply disappointed with my poor performance.
As a kid I regularly won the highest up the wall competition,and now I can't even reach the wall.

Oh dear.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-39339782

Good to see women breaking through.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-39348633

boltonbonce wrote:Good to see women breaking through.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-39348633

Dear god.

This will end in tears!

i think KP needs some equality and diversity training 

I'm not happy with The Urban Dictionary.
bonce
a bonce is to insult somebody about having a small sexual part.
you bonce, you have a small cock

The Urban Dictionary Mug

Lotsa space for your liquids.
BUY THE MUG

"A small sexual part."

Is that like a walk on role for a dwarf in a porno?

In the battle of the legs,Sturgeon wins it for me.

boltonbonce wrote:In the battle of the legs,Sturgeon wins it for me.

I can't believe that the Mail's official response to all the furore was to say that "anyone offended by it should get a life".

The Daily Mail said that.

The paper of choice for the perpetually outraged and permanently disgruntled.

You couldn't make it up...

Sarah Vine is married to Michael Gove. She deserves our sympathy.

What's happened to the Nuts banner? I have no banner!

I demand answers.

My banner is back. And very nice it is. Well done whoever is responsible.

Keegan created the banner

BoltonTillIDie wrote:Keegan created the banner

Well done. He did a very nice Brucie banner for me a few years ago.

Although that wasn't overly popular.