Disposable Penis

Scientists have announced that they have found a sea slug that has a disposable penis. It is able to detach, re-grow and then re-use its penis. It often leaves its penis inside the female sea slug after sex, or discards it on the floor before smoking a cigarette.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-21431678

Scientists have also announced they expect this to be the future of the male species - inside 200 years they expect every man in the world to have a disposable penis.

It's too late for you guys, but what are the benefits of a disposable penis?

I'm not a bloke, but the obvious benefits I can think of are:

1) Imagine you're at a family party and you suddenly get an erection after looking at your brother's wife (or your sister if you're Bolton Hater). Instead of having to sit down with a cushion over your crotch you could unscrew your knob and hide it in the fridge.

2) You're caught running from the scene of a rape and are the main suspect. In the back of the police car gently unscrew your willy and swallow it - you can't have raped anyone without a penis.

3) The mens bogs are overflowing with piss and poo, you unscrew your knob and immediately you're a woman. You can now use the fresh smelling ladies toilets.

I'm sure there are many more scenarios where a disposable penis would come in handy. Surely there has been a time in every blokes life when he's wished he could leave his penis behind and re-grow it the following day?

You don't half post some shite, maybe someone should unscrew their nob and put it in your mouth to shut you up.

Leeds_Trotter wrote:You don't half post some shite, maybe someone should unscrew their nob and put it in your mouth to shut you up.

It's on the BBC website you pleb.

Leeds_Trotter wrote: maybe someone should unscrew their nob and put it in your mouth to shut you up.

I must admit that this comment made me chuckle.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Leeds_Trotter wrote:You don't half post some shite, maybe someone should unscrew their nob and put it in your mouth to shut you up.

It's on the BBC website you pleb.

I'm talking about the uses you've come up with. I reckon my use is better.

Leeds_Trotter wrote:

I'm talking about the uses you've come up with. I reckon my use is better.

You won't be putting your knob anywhere near my mouth. Keep your fantasy to yourself in future.

I could do with a few screw on cocks the amount of pussy I've been hitting of late.

Natasha Whittam wrote:

Leeds_Trotter wrote:

I'm talking about the uses you've come up with. I reckon my use is better.

You won't be putting your knob anywhere near my mouth. Keep your fantasy to yourself in future.

I wouldn't touch you with Reebok Trotters cock, let alone my own.

Leeds_Trotter wrote:You don't half post some shite, maybe someone should unscrew their nob and put it in your mouth to shut you up.

Hipster_Nebula wrote:

Leeds_Trotter wrote:You don't half post some shite, maybe someone should unscrew their nob and put it in your mouth to shut you up.

I concur!

I'm tiring of starting serious topics about science only for them to be hijacked by bellends.

Natasha Whittam wrote:I'm tiring of starting serious topics about science only for them to be hijacked by bellends.

Aww pumpkin

I'm starting to realise I'm too intelligent for this site.

Natasha Whittam wrote:I'm starting to realise I'm too intelligent for this site.

Natasha Whittam wrote:I'm starting to realise I'm too intelligent for this site.

Ok then, if it helps your confidence, I concur!

Leeds_Trotter wrote:

Natasha Whittam wrote:I'm starting to realise I'm too intelligent for this site.

Damn, Leeds Trotter beat me too it.

Disposable dicks could help resolve the spread of STDs and you could always leave one with the missus to amuse herself with when you're not around. Great idea - the future of humanity is in safe hands.

wanderlust wrote:Disposable dicks could help resolve the spread of STDs and you could always leave one with the missus to amuse herself with when you're not around. Great idea - the future of humanity is in safe hands.

At last a serious answer. Thank you.

With so many dicks being created, recycling may become a problem - they can't all go to landfill.
I'm thinking of a themed shop. We could stuff pillows and cushions with them, make lampshades, jewellery and keyrings.
Sadly, they're more likely to end up in burgers and lasagne.

wanderlust wrote:With so many dicks being created, recycling may become a problem - they can't all go to landfill.
I'm thinking of a themed shop. We could stuff pillows and cushions with them, make lampshades, jewellery and keyrings.
Sadly, they're more likely to end up in burgers and lasagne.

If we're both around in 200 years I think we should go into business together.