Bonce's own personal thread. Volume XI

Silk pyjamas are no good for you Boncey, you'll slip out of bed and injure yourself 

Norpig wrote:Silk pyjamas are no good for you Boncey, you'll slip out of bed and injure yourself 

I know. I'm a striped pyjama man myself. No fancy stuff. I'm no Cary Grant.
Mind you, I might be able to tempt Nat out of retirement with a bit of silk, and a flash of leg. I've still got a few moves.
Might even let her play with my bendy Noddy car.

Amazon is pushing its luck with regard to my recommendations. Might have to have a word.

boltonbonce wrote:Amazon is pushing its luck with regard to my recommendations. Might have to have a word.

It's mugs all round then!

Thought you might like this Bonce...

Great Lives
Sir Bruce Forsyth

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001y1yb?at_mid=hBb3V7YeLV&at_campaign=Great_Lives_Sir_Bruce_Forsyth&at_medium=display_ad&at_campaign_type=owned&at_link_origin=promo_box&at_audience_id=TV&at_product=sounds&at_brand=b006qxsb&at_ptr_name=bbc&at_ptr_type=media&at_format=image&at_objective=consumption&at_link_title=Great_Lives_Sir_Bruce_Forsyth&at_bbc_team=BBC

Sluffy wrote:Thought you might like this Bonce...

Great Lives
Sir Bruce Forsyth

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m001y1yb?at_mid=hBb3V7YeLV&at_campaign=Great_Lives_Sir_Bruce_Forsyth&at_medium=display_ad&at_campaign_type=owned&at_link_origin=promo_box&at_audience_id=TV&at_product=sounds&at_brand=b006qxsb&at_ptr_name=bbc&at_ptr_type=media&at_format=image&at_objective=consumption&at_link_title=Great_Lives_Sir_Bruce_Forsyth&at_bbc_team=BBC

Thanks Sluffy. Been a bit busy and didn't notice this, so big thanks for the heads up. I'll savour it with a strong brew and a few Jaffa Cakes.

Fish Flops are the future! Just seen a bloke selling hot spuds out the back of his trailer wearing them on Rate My Takeaway.

You need to get a pair Bonce...

karlypants wrote:Fish Flops are the future! Just seen a bloke selling hot spuds out the back of his trailer wearing them on Rate My Takeaway.

You need to get a pair Bonce...

What monstrous horror is this!?
I'm sure they're fine for a man who sells spuds out of the back of a trailer, but Bonce inhabits a far loftier plain, where fish heads know their plaice. Pun intended.
I'm outraged that you would even consider me a possible customer.
My slippers are not to be messed with.

Oh, those Republicans.

I was offered a free manicure this morning at our local shopping centre. I turned it down.
That's woman stuff. Eyebrows the same. My eyebrows are above my eyes, and until things change, they won't be getting a trim.
Any man worth his salt bites his nails. That's what teeth are for.
And, as a Wanderer, I'm something of an expert at nail biting.
How many of you bastards have manicures? Own up.

I cut my nails and I run a razor over my eyebrows to keep them trim.

I also trim nose and ear hairs.

My own that is.

I don't understand any man not doing at least some basic grooming.

Sluffy wrote:I cut my nails and I run a razor over my eyebrows to keep them trim.

I also trim nose and ear hairs.

My own that is.

I don't understand any man not doing at least some basic grooming.

Not suffered from nose hair so far, but my ears get them. A quick trim does the job. I can understand you wanting to keep the eyebrows under control. The Bernard Ingham look isn't a good one.

Bought this from a children's cancer charity for £25. Absolute bargain.

boltonbonce wrote:Bought this from a children's cancer charity for £25. Absolute bargain.

Great price for that picture.

Why have you got an Apple logo on what appears to be your oven?

karlypants wrote:

Great price for that picture.

Why have you got an Apple logo on what appears to be your oven?

It's the freezer, KP. My niece has a lot of those Apple stickers, and delights in sticking them all over the place, fridge , freezer, oven, post box, laptops, you name it, and she's planted a sticker on it. 

boltonbonce wrote:

karlypants wrote:

Great price for that picture.

Why have you got an Apple logo on what appears to be your oven?

It's the freezer, KP. My niece has a lot of those Apple stickers, and delights in sticking them all over the place, fridge , freezer, oven, post box, laptops, you name it, and she's planted a sticker on it. 

Fair enough

karlypants wrote:

Fair enough

Not just Apple stickers either. Mind you, I'm not one to be talking about sticking things.

Putting that Lofthouse picture away, I came across a programme that brought back a few memories.
Went with a mate as a passenger on his scooter, and we got absolutely soaked going down the East Lancs Road. As we got pretty close to our destination, a car pulled up next to us at the lights.
The window rolled down, and a man's head popped out, "where's the ground lads?" he said.
It was Joe Mercer. Malcolm Allison was driving, and it was a right clapped out old banger.
You'd have thought they'd have known where the ground was, but I expect they had bigger fish to fry.

boltonbonce wrote:

karlypants wrote:

Fair enough

Not just Apple stickers either. Mind you, I'm not one to be talking about sticking things.